wish and peace
by FeliLud
Summary: Hakkai does a little time travel by youkai attack and finds himself in some trouble. he needs to get back to his own time but of course things aren't so simple for him. This is a Hakkai-centered story and a little bit of 38. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1 back in time

Hakkai woke with a pounding headache, and the blazing sun shining above was not making things any better.

His instincts told him he wasn't in immediate danger, so he allowed his body to move sluggishly as he carefully scanned his surroundings.

The lush trees suggest that he was in a grove. The occasional chirping of the birds suggest it's peaceful nature, but for some unknown reason the place stirred something at the back of his mind, like an unwanted memory he couldn't quite place in finger on.

He quickly waved it off. There were more pressing matters in hand than trying to remember some unpleasant memories. He moved under the shades towards the faint sound of flowing water, all the while calling out his travel companions' names.

"Gojyo…? Goku…? Sanzo…?, Hakuryuu…?" He had noticed they weren't anywhere near him the moment he woke up, uneasiness was starting to creep over as he scanned his surroundings with watchful eyes.

He vaguely recalled that they had checked in a shabby hotel in a small town, and then….what? What happened after that? He frowned and struggled to remember more, but his memory was fuzzy at best.

Something must have happened, but he had no idea what.

The faint sound of water brought him to a river; he cupped some water up with both hands and tasted it carefully. Pleased that they were just fresh water, he took a few long drinks before splashing some water on his face. The cold water cleared his mind and lightened his mood. He's going to have to locate his companions before making any further plans.

He really hoped this wasn't going to take long, his companions are notoriously incapable of taking care of themselves, and he's often the one who had to pick up their mess and keep them as healthy as possible.

"Oh my….this is rather troublesome…" listening to the birds chirp but not hearing a single human voice, a helpless smile tugging at his lips. He searched for any trace of human activities and his eyes lit up when he found a rocky path stretching out in front of him.

Quickly following the path, a town soon came into sight. But instead of hurrying forwards, his footsteps slowed and came to a stop and wide green eyes stared in disbelief.

Seeing the town didn't give him any comfort. If anything, he felt like someone just knocked the wind out of him.

The town looked so familiar that he could recognize it anytime. But he had left that town roughly two years by now as they have continued their journey west, and there was no way he should be seeing it right now.

The town was the fateful town he and Gojyo had lived for three years, the town where he had met Sanzo and Goku, and the town of the beginning of "Hakkai".

* * *

"This has to be some mistake…" with the pleasant small smiled he usually wore firmly in place; Hakkai scanned the all-too- familiar streets and building, feeling like he just walked into a daydream. He took a few deep breaths and forced himself to calm down and analyze the situation.

So the obvious question should be why he was here. He had ruled out the possible answer of "I'm still dreaming" by giving his leg a painful pinch, the two other possible answers were that either the Three Aspect had intervene, which was rather impossible, or some youkai had done this, which was a more plausible option.

He calmed quickly after finding the answer. He and his travel companions had already seen their fair share of weird abilities youkais were capable of, someone able to throw you around places sound normal enough. He'll just have to make plans to find his companions…or see whatever the youkai who had yet to show himself had in mind for him.

"Hey, young lad, want to buy some fresh pumpkins?" The owner of the vegetable stall he frequented smiled warmly and gives him a wave.

"It's been a while, are your legs getting better now?" not letting his guard down as he made his way to the vegetable stall, Hakkai gave the owner an easy smile while glancing at the fresh vegetables. His mind had automatically started to organize a dinner menu for Gojyo before remembering they no longer lived in Gojyo's house anymore.

The owner and his wife exchange a bewildered look "Haven't seen you before, lad. We'd definitely remember a handsome face like yours. S' ok, you're new here, right? We'll be happy to show you around if you need to. " the owner and his wife smiled benignly at Hakkai.

"I appreciate your kind offer, but I'm doing fine now." Hakkai smiled though he didn't really feel like smiling. Something wasn't right, he had known the couple for a long time, and he could tell they weren't lying when they said they really had no idea who he was.

This was bad.

Hakkai tried a few more stores he frequented, and his heart sank a bit lower every time people give him blank stares. No one remembered him, like the whole town had suddenly had collective amnesia about his existence.

"Looking for Gojyo? " the bartender gave him a friendly smile, " m 'fraid you'll have to take numbers. The guy's been going home early these days, and lots of people are waiting for him to show up."

"He's been going home early?" Hakkai asked doubtfully. He was glad that Gojyo was here as well, but the way the bartender is speaking sounds like Gojyo was still living in that house instead of traveling west…

An unwelcome assumption slowly started to form in his mind.

"Yup, heard e's been takin' care of some random guy he picked up from the road." Another guest spoke up beside him.

Hakkai's eyes widen, Gojyo's smiling face and words came to his mind: "This is the first and last time I'm taking a man to bed."

Gojyo had never "taken any man to bed" in the three years they had lived together, so this could only mean the person he was taking care of was….

Resisting the urge to sigh, Hakkai tried to organize his thoughts. So not only was he sent back to the starting point, he had also been thrown back in time as well. No wonder no one knew him, he was bedridden and recovering from the wound Chin Yisou gave him at that time.

What now? Gojyo would probably take him in after some explanation for now, but he needed to get back to his own time. A certain grumpy but knowledgeable monk was probably his best hope in getting out this mess.

With his mind made up, Hakkai thanked the people and stepped back outside. He was about to head towards Gojyo's place when he noticed smoke rising from the mountains.

The thick smoke suggests that the cause of it was likely from huge buildings being burned. The voices of gossiping drift into his ears

"...What's going on?..."

"…I don't know, but I heard there are youkais living there…"

"…terrible, I don't know, but I hope they keep away…"

Hakkai's breath caught in his chest, then started to run with full speed towards the smoke. He now understood why he felt the woods look familiar. He had spent days scouting the area, calculating the perfect time and place to hide and ambush. His mind was in total rage but at the same time clear and focus.

All so he could get Kanan back.

The burning place was no doubt Hyakugan Maou's castle, which was burned down to the ground a few days prior to his arrival. But now…

Ignoring people gaping at him, Hakkai ran towards the mountain and trees. Now he was back in time and without the wounds. He'd probably had a chance to take Kanan's remains and give her a proper burial, away from that cursed castle she had suffered so much from. She deserved so much better than that hideous place.

With a silent prayer to the Gods, he charged towards his destiny.

* * *

Sanzo had told him more than once that the gods save no one, and looking at the castle engulfed in flames, he was force to remember what it means that gods had no mercy.

Legs weak with overwhelming despair and sorrow, he could only stare at the blazing flames. The unbearable heat forced the onlookers to retreat a few meters away as the ablazed building burned with the horrible smell of burned flesh and marl. He knew there was nothing he could do, the enhanced body of his was still not enough to keep his promise to Kanan.

How could life be so cruel? Back then, he wanted nothing more than to live a peaceful life with Kanan, but the youkais had robbed him of his petty dream, and he wasn't even allowed to take her body back and give her a proper burial.

He had once thought he had made peace with his past, but the despair that threatens to take over suggested that it was only his wishful thinking.

But as the ghost of kanan's smile came to him, a red-haired man with a wide grin, a monkey-boy with huge appetite, and a prissy-blond with piercing eyes also popped into his mind.

 ** _No_** , he closed his eyes firmly and willed the image and voice of his beloved away. He had long since made up his mind to continue on his new life and was blessed with irreplaceable friends who accept everything he was and is. **_No, I'm no longer Cho Gonou, I am Hakkai, Cho Hakkai._**

With tremendous efforts, Hakkai forced the emotions down and calmed himself. It was a while before he noticed someone standing right in front of him. He lift his head curiously and frozed, all previous thoughts forgotten.

Cladded in white monk robes with a green sutra sitting on his shoulders, the man standing in front of him has golden hair that seem to glow in the sunlight and droopy sharp amethyst eyes. Most people would be distracted by his good looks before finding themselves at the end of a muzzle or having their asses handed to them. The green sutra seemed harmless enough, but having seen it activated countless times, Hakkai knew better than to underestimate that absolute power.

Though slightly younger than what he remembered, this man was no doubt the leader of their little crew- Genjo Sanzo.

Seeing the face he knew so well gave Hakkai both a sense of hope and dread. "Cho Hakkai" did not exist four years ago. The person who lived at that time was the miserable mass-murderer "Cho Gonou", and the person in charge to bring the mass-murderer to justice was the very person standing there and holding him at gun point of his banishing gun.

"Cho Gonou, I presume?" Sanzo's steely voice rang at his ears, eyes and face cold as marble. "Under the orders of Sanbutsushin, I am ordered to bring you back to face your judgment for mass murdering. Come quietly if you don't want to die a painful death. "

-tbc-

 **Author's note: This is my first story, please read and review.**

 **I'm really in need of beta-readers as I'm not a native English speaker, please contact me if you are willing.**


	2. Chapter 2 fight

Oh….he really **_is_** in some serious trouble. He knew Sanzo would not hesitate to shoot him and drag him by his hair to the Temple of Setting Sun if he makes the wrong move. But in face of such danger, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"You think I'm shitting with you?" The chuckled apparently didn't sit well with Sanzo, the amethyst eyes narrowed dangerously as the barrel of the banishing gun turned with a warning sound.

Trying to fight down the chuckle and raising both hands in a sign of peace, Hakkai somehow felt calmer at the thought that Sanzo hasn't changed at all. While Gojyo and Goku keeps him anchored to every day's life and helps him stay sane, Sanzo is the person he relies spiritually on. Despite having seen Gods more than once, he never believed in them, Sanzo is the only person he believes and follows.

That is why he has to do what he is about to do.

He slowly stood up with both of his hands still raised, his smile still in place but his eyes were firm. "No, I apologize for my rudeness. But… ** _I_** cannot go with you."

Because **_Hakkai_** is not who Sanzo is looking for.

"You're asking for it, then." Sanzo's eyes grew colder as Hakkai hold his position ready to fight.

"My apologies." Hakkai gave him his best apologetic smile before dropping it. Knowing Sanzo doesn't trust that smile, he let his seriousness show as a sign of respect.

He had never dreamed of having to fight Sanzo when they were both perfectly sane, but he has to fight if he wants to go back. He had seen worse and even had to fight Seiten Taise twice, so he just braced himself the best he could.

They both bolt into action when the first gunshot rang out. Not daring to let his guard down even the slightest, Hakkai charge forwards, barely managing to dodge the deadly bullets as he launched attacks altering between hand-to-hand combats and chi blasts.

Though Sanzo is only human, no one in their little crew had ever questioned the monk's ability to fight. The man is a dead shot and a strong combater despite his scrowny looks.

After one of the energy blasts burned a bush of shrub, another voice joined in the fight.

"Sanzo, this guy is pretty good!" Hakkai didn't need to turn his head to see who was speaking. He knew Goku was there even before the battle began, but his words brought memories back. He remember Goku saying the same words during their first fight in front of Gojyo's house, and the excitement in that voice brought a small smile to his lips.

Sanzo apparently didn't share the same gleefulness, he was panting hard from the fight and is clearly irritated that defeating his prey was taking too long and using too much of his energy. Hakkai felt a twig of guilt seeing Sanzo so tired but quickly smothered it.

"Need help?" Goku's offered and received a "Shut up!" from Sanzo. Hakkai smiled inwardly, knowing Sanzo's pride would not allow himself to call for help unless necessary.

Sanzo would likely go straight to the sutra if the fight drags too long, so he had to come up with an escape plan quickly or his chance to escape would get slimmer each second.

His peripheral view caught Goku and the shining diadem finally gave him an idea.

Hakkai fired a few chi blast forcing Sanzo to dodge, tilting his head to avoid a bullet, then he bent low, the muscles on his legs tighten as he focus his strength on them. Then he lunged forwards like an arrow.

For a split second, Hakkai seemed to disappear from sight. But to the surprise of the other two, he reappeared behind Goku. With a swift movement, he grabbed Goku's diadem and pulled it upwards.

Clearly not expecting this, Goku was stunned for about half a second before kicking out at him while grabbing the diadem with one hand to prevent it from coming off. Sanzo's bullet also whizzed dangerously close by, but Hakkai had backed off as he lunged once again.

Goku's frantic voice was Sanzo's only warning when Hakkai reappeared behind him, Hakkai knew Sanzo had already sensed his presence but was a millisecond too slow, Hakkai had raised his hand and with one swift and precise movement, hit the acupuncture point behind his neck.

Sanzo's body went limp as he cursed and fell, Goku's eyes widen as he charged forwards to help, but Hakkai had took hold of Sanzo's body before it hit the ground with one hand, wrench the gun from his hand and pointed it at Sanzo's temple with the other hand. Goku stopped dead on his foot.

Hakkai was sure his death is going to get even more painful and gruesome when Sanzo gets his hand on him after this mess, he sincerely hoped Sanzo would give him enough time to explain himself before his "execution". But he cannot afford to think about that right now, he still has things to do.

It took him a few seconds to hear soft muttering coming from Sanzo, Hakkai's eyes widen and quickly began to feel his neck. He pressed on Sanzo's carotid arteries with measured strength when he found it. Not able to finish activating the sutra, Sanzo lost his conscious with a teeth-grinding weak "Damn it…"

Hakkai quickly withdrew his hand on Sanzo's carotid arteries after he was sure Sanzo had lost conscious. It was a dangerous move and he only did it because he is a healer and knew how much pressure to use. He had no intention to seriously harm the monk.

"Please don't move and hear me out" Memories came back as he spoke to a frozen Goku who looked ready tear him apart. "He's fine, just unconscious." He reassured Goku first, as he had no intention to deal with Seiten Taise now. "I know you're here to arrest me, but I have my reasons not to get caught now. Please back off, or I'll really have no choice but to harm him."

The anger and hatred in Goku's golden eyes sent a pang to Hakkai's heart. Goku had always been nice and friendly to him even before he became Hakkai, his smiles and innocence has always been an oasis of happiness for him and reminds him the brighter side of the world. But now seeing the anger, Hakkai realized that he may have ruined the chance to befriend him forever, and the thought really saddens him.

Goku backed off as he was told. Hakkai thought he must have imagined it when he saw Goku no longer looked furious, but rather angry and confused. Having no time to dwell, he dragged Sanzo's limp body with him towards the wood. After using some chi to ease the pain Sanzo would feel on the back of his neck when he wakes up and double checking to make sure Sanzo was absolutely fine, he carefully laid Sanzo's body on the floor. Holding the banishing gun to give Goku a last warning, he turned and quickly ran off into the woods with Sanzo's banishing gun in hand.

* * *

After putting enough distance to make sure he was safe, he was relieved that Goku had not came after him. As he had guessed, Goku would prioritize Sanzo's safety before anything.

Just like Goku's safety is the only thing that would really rattle Sanzo. Back then, he had no intention to take Goku's diadem off and set a raging Seiten Taise on him. It was just an act to distract Sanzo and give him the opening he was looking for.

Heaving a great sigh, Hakkai knew he had really got Sanzo worked up this time and would be sure to pay for it later on, but he didn't think Sanzo would believe him if he told him he's not Gonou. The true reason he could not allow Sanzo to take him, however, it that he is running out of time. If he let's Sanzo take him back to the Temple of the Setting Sun, Gonou would have left Gojyo's house by then and walked straight to his demise. "Hakkai" wouldn't even get the chance to be born.

It pains him to live in a world without Kanan, but his companions gave him hope and courage to live a bit longer for himself. He now enjoys and cherishes the days he spends with them, and he's too selfish to let that bond go.

-tbc-


	3. Chapter 3 a twist

Hakkai wrapped the banishing gun in a handkerchief and took it to a small temple in town and asked a monk to return the "lost item" to Sanzo as soon as possible. Pleased to have an excuse to talk to "Sanzo-sama", the monk was more than happy to comply without asking questions. With that done, Hakkai went back to the market to gather some food.

Knowing it would be too dangerous to show his face once Sanzo returns; he went straight to gamble and quickly got the money needed to buy food. He apologized in his mind to the poor stunned fellows because he went all out on them despite knowing that they were no match to his skills.

Not daring to get too near the house, Hakkai found a spot on a tall tree in full leaf a bit far away from Gojyo's house and waited for Sanzo and Goku to appear. Since he wasn't sure what difference he had caused by returning to this timeline, he is determined to see through everything to make sure the history wasn't changed too much.

He has a mix feeling about seeing Sanzo and Goku again. He was thinking of revealing himself after they see Gonou. They might hear him out if he plays it nice, and he really needs Sanzo's help to get back to his own timeline.

Night came faster than he thought, but as youkai, his night vision gave him the advantage. He has a gut feeling that Gonou is going to leave the house tonight, and judging from the figure showing up from the end of the road, he knew he was right.

Sanzo walked with his usual stride and grim face, and the unusual rustling sounds of the tress indicate that Goku is there as well.

He saw how Sanzo and Gojyo start fighting after Gojyo refuse to hand Gonou over, and a small smile tug at his lips. They rarely get into serious physical fights these days, so seeing them wrestle each other is quite refreshing.

Gonou poke his head out worriedly after Sanzo fired his gun. Sanzo quickly turned the gun towards Gonou, but instead of saying his name, he frowned and stared at Gonou silently before he was disarmed and pinned down by Gojyo.

Seeing Gonou was about to escape, Sanzo called Goku out. Goku was not smiling this time, he just stared puzzledly at Gonou as he looked up and down Gonou like he was trying to figure out something before finally asking "You sure it's him, Sanzo? He looks rather different than a few days ago…..whatever, I'll just have to defeat him, right?"

Hakkai felt a cold sweat rolling down his brow, the history has already changed a bit, and it didn't bode well at all.

Goku attacked with full force, Gonou blocked the attack but the pained expression told others how painful it was. Goku's next kick sent Gonou flying to wall with a huge bang, and Hakkai couldn't help but winced. Goku seemed rather serious this time, and Hakkai feared that Gonou wouldn't be able to get away this time around.

He was beginning to think he probably needs to help Gonou out of this; he has every intention to help Gonou get back to Hyakugan Maou's castle even though he knew it would only be in vain. That one last request is currently the only thing keeping Gonou from falling apart.

But luckily, Sanzo's gun was within arm's reach, and Gonou took hold of it and pointed it straight at Goku, begging them to give him more time.

Hakkai felt a nostalgic sadness well up inside him because he knew how Gonou would be devastated after seeing what happened to the castle. But the next second, his whole body went rigid.

An eerie laughter and voice broke the tension, "That wouldn't do, Cho Gonou, I still need you to assist my plan."

A youkai in blue robes came out from the woods, his blue hair and narrow eyes seem so disgustingly familiar but Hakkai couldn't pin-point why. He never broods when facing enemies because he has a bad habit to freeze up about a second when he is thinking, and such behavior may very well cause him his own life in battles. But one thing he knew is that any youkai who knows his old name is never on his side.

"Good evening." the youkai greeted with a sick sweet tone of politeness and smiled a smile that makes Hakkai itching to punch that face "It seems like my timing is perfect."

Ignoring their stares, the youkai fixed his eyes on Gonou, the malice in his eyes sent shivers down his spine.

"Who the hell are you?" Obviously sensing the unfriendliness coming from the youkai, Sanzo stared coldly at the youkai and asked in a steely voice after kicking Gojyo off.

"My name is meaningless to you so don't bother." The youkai gave an up-to-no-good smile "I have something I want, and I have this brilliant idea to achieve my goal."

The youkai's power suddenly rose in an alarming speed, while everyone tensed up and prepared for battle; the youkai locked his eyes with Gonou's as the slit youkai eyes glowed with ominously.

Gonou's eyes widen, and suddenly let out a horrible scream. The gun slipped from his hands and he fell and clutched his head.

"What the fuck did you do!?" Gojyo hurried to Gonou's side and glared daggers at the blue-haired youkai, his whole boy tense and on guard.

The youkai laughed at the question "I've was always been thinking how to revive my clan after it had been wiped out by a mere human. When Gyokumen Koushu offered a handsome bounty for the sutra, I knew it was my chance. That cursed murderer owns us that much, don't you think so?"

"No….no….stop it…" Gonou was thrashing around as he held his head, trying to fight something but was obviously failing. Before they could do anything, he had stop moving.

The only one who was not even more on guard was the blue-haired youkai. But Gojyo had apparently not seen it coming when Gonou suddenly smacked him and sent him crashing into a nearby tree.

The youkai's laughter filled the clearing as he stood next to Gonou and grabbed his arm to yank him up. "Finally!…It certainly took longer than I had thought."

Gonou did not resist as he was dragged up, green eyes blank as glass. Blood was seeping from the wound on his abdomen but he showed no sign that he felt any pain. He merely stood there like a motionless doll

"Damaged before being used, what a trash." The youkai frown as he noticed the wound. "Guess I'll just have to make the most of it then." Rustling sounds came from all around them, and soon they found themselves surrounded by countless centipedes. The youkai chuckled as he looked at their disgusted faces, his fingers trailing along Gonou's neck in almost a loving touch. But then with a swift move of fingers, he ripped the three silver cuffs off Gonou's left ear.

Gonou's body jolted as vines began to wrap around his body, ears lengthen until they were slender and pointy, finger nails and teeth sharpen into claws and fangs. The now heretic golden youkai eyes stared blankly back at them. But unlike Goku's clear golden eyes, the amber of Gonous's eyes were dead with darkness lurking behind it.

But the youkai energy emitting from his body is what made Sanzo, Goku and Gojyo tense. The power the youkai released was nothing compared to Gonou's, the enormous energy was almost palpable as it raged and swirled around in thick waves that almost made it hard to breathe.

"Let the show begin." The youkai announced gleefully as Gonou raised one of his deadly claws.

-tbc-

still looking for beta-readers, please contact me if you are willing.


	4. Chapter 4 battle

Gun shots rang out the clearing as chaos broke out. Gonou muttered Kanan's name like a broken record, part of his vines wrapped around his abdomen like bandages, the others slithered around like snakes in the woods, snaring his captives' limbs and flinging them out towards the trees. Gonou himself moved like a stealthy beast, deadly fangs and claws ready to rip out their throats.

"Hey, snap out of it!" Gojyo shouted at Gonou as the claws graze his face. Sanzo's bullets whizzed past and Gonou leaped away "Thanks."

"Move your ass and pay attention, are those fucking antennas no use at all?" Sanzo barked at him. Gonou had attacked before he could activate the sutra, and the mix attacks of vines and claws gave him no time to concentrate on the activation, which put him in an extremely foul mood.

"These aren't youkai sensors, you stinky monk!" Gojyo cursed loudly as he snapped a thick tree branch and swung it at the centipedes, sending the creatures flying everywhere and earning him more foul languages from Sanzo.

"Goku, leave Cho Gonou alone and attack the centipede freak!" Sanzo ordered.

"I'm trying!" The boy tried to land a kick on the youkai but Gonou stood between them and fended him off. The centipede crawled near and some were squashed under his shoes. "Ewwwwww…."

The harsh laughter of the youkai rang out as he watched with extreme satisfaction on their struggles. He couldn't help but gloat "That's all you've got? I'm almost disappointed; the infamous Sanzo Ikkou is just a bunch of useless weaklings. "

"What the bloody fuck is he talking about!? What the hell is 'Sanzo Ikkou!?'" Gojyo shouted his questions as he sent another crowd of centipedes flying and toss the branch that is now covered in worm guts. He wasted no time and snapped another thick branch to use.

But his questions went unanswered as a huge bright energy ball came flying at them and forced everyone to jump out of the ways. The energy ball mowed and destroyed everything in its pass and burned all the centipedes into nothingness.

"That's quite enough." The person slowly walking out of the woods had everyone staring. The youkai lost his gleeful smile and his expression quickly twisted into a mask of rage. "It's not possible…..how can you be here!?"

"Why not? I used to live here, you know?" Hakkai was still smiling, but his eyes were hard. The absolute rage exuding from him was so freezing cold and menacing that everyone took an unconscious step backwards.

He knew who that youkai was the instance the centipedes appeared, and he almost laughed at his own foolishness. How could he be so naïve to believe his past would no longer haunt him? How could he not have instantly notice the similarities between the youkai and Chin Yisou? They had the same twisted smile and narrow eyes; they even shared the same hair color and the skill of manipulations.

 ** _No_** **…** **he will not let the tragedy be repeated, he would die before anything dear to him was ripped away from him once again by filthy youkais!**

The murderous intent raged through his whole body, but his mind was amazingly clear and focused with one goal - kill the youkai.

 **Crush it before it has the slightest chance to harm the people he cared about!**

Even when he was reborn as Hakkai, he knew **"Gonou"** still lives inside him, the dark twisted part of him full of burning rage still lurks in the shadows of his heart. After his rebirth and killing Chin Yisou once and for all, the twisted part of him was much calmer. But now, the bloody hands of **"** **Gonou"** wrapped around him, whispered into his mind-ears to rip the youkai to shreds, and Hakkai fully agreed with him.

He eyed the youkai coldly and calculating his next move. Even with Gonou's hindrance, he would be able to take him down without taking off his limiters. The youkais in Hyakugan Maou's castle were no weaklings, but they all died like bugs under his rage. The dark mire of hatred gripped firmly to him, and the sound of drumming raindrops hum in his ears.

But instead of feeling distress like he usually would, he felt elated.

He wanted that wonderful sensation back, to feel the satisfactory on how the hot blood splashes on him, and see the youkai filth die miserably. **Every single one of those filthy centipedes needed to pay for lying their filthy hands on what did not belong to them!**

Gonou's vine tried to sneak on him, but Hakkai had already anticipated on that move and leaped away. The chi balls he fired were so intense that they all had to dodge. The youkai meant to retreat, but Hakkai appeared right beside him and snapped his right hand within a second. The youkai screamed in pain and rage, but was spared of immediate death when Gonou attacked and kicked Hakkai towards a tree.

But Hakkai twisted his body in mid-air so instead of smashing into the tree with his back. He landed on the tree trunk with his feet and leaped right off it. Blazing energy of light exploded as the familiar sutra came to life and lengthen until it was flying everywhere. Forcing the youkai and Gonou to retreat. The youkai grabbed Gonou's forearm and they both began to fade into the thin air.

"Damn!" Hakkai charged forward but suddenly caught the youkai's eyes. Blinding pain exploded in his head and he knew nothing more after that.

-tbc-


	5. Chapter 5 meeting up

_The scent of death and blood was everywhere._

 _He was back at the dungeons in Hyakugan Maou's castle, Kanan's body lied dead in the cell, blood was spreading until the smell was intolerable, his whole body is drenched with blood and pieces of something he didn't want to know._

 _Then he noticed Kanan's body was not the only thing in the cell, Gojyo, Sanzo and Goku's mangled bodies were also there, even his beloved little white dragon was torn apart as well. The door to the cell wouldn't budge no matter how hard he tried, so he grabbed and shook the bars frantically but it was in vain. He screamed with rage and grief as he tried to reach them, to heal them, but his body was heavy as lead. Centipedes were crawling near to devour their dead bodies as the laughter of Chin Yisou and the other youkai rang in the silent dungeon. The sound of pounding rain and his own screaming voice made him totally deaf._

 _There was a voice calling at him, soothing and asking him to simply close his eyes and surrender himself, and he would no longer have to suffer._

 _The thought of escaping the unbarable pain was so tempting, he was already starting to give up; but another part of his brain rebelled againt that idea. He had failed all of them so miserably, so he had no right to escape or rejoin them, he must bare the pain and guilt as his punishment until the day he is allowed to go to hell._

 _He had not idea how much time has past since he woke up in this living nightmare. But as he stared numbly at them, trying to inscribe their last moment into his brain,_ _a sense of doubt came to his mind. He remembered Kanan's death clearly, but he couldn't remember how his travel companions died no matter how hard he tried, he even could've sworn he heard faint voices coming from somewhere else…_

 _Then suddenly, golden light lit up the dongeon and he heard someone scream in a distance, the light stung with absolute power as it shined through darkness. The light felt familiar, he had seen it countless times…_ _ **but how can it be? He should be dead…**_

 _Then he understood, he doesn't remember their death because they're NOT dead. None of this is real, it's just nightmare._

 _Once it clicked, the fire inside him started to burn bright once again. He heard the same voice scream an indignant scream as his surroundings shattered and out of sight, he knew it's time for him to wake up._

* * *

He woke up to the sight of a very familiar ceiling and light. His whole body felt sore and stiff all over, and his head hurt so much that he could hardly think straight. He didn't understand why, but everything from softness of the bed, the smell of the house, and the presences here relaxed his mind. Staring at a cobweb at the corner of the ceiling with a still fuzzy sight, he muttered "I really want to clean that web…"

Something didn't feel right, shouldn't his first word be "Hell is a lot more proletarian than I expected."?

"Sorry for the messy house." A voice that didn't sound sorry at all piped up, and suddenly a curtain of blood red hair and a face that looked familiar as well came into sight. "You really took your sweet time to wake up; the monkey is already eating me out of my house."

Hakkai blinked, he had a memory of the man-Gojyo saying different words. What's happening? He had two sets of memories rebelling against each other. One of them is the bloody raw grief and rage of Gonou, the other is Hakkai's journeying West with his companions, and he had no idea who he is right now.

Before he could figure out anything to say, another familiar face came squeezing in his sight. "You're finally up. That's good, 'cause Sanzo said you might never wake up if you keep sleeping like that."

Hakkai kept quiet because he couldn't decide what to say. He tried to sit up from bed but fell back immediately when dizziness hit in full force, he had to clench his eyes shut and wait for the nauseous to pass.

"Easy there, you got your brain fucked by that freaky git. You shouldn't push yourself." Gojyo waited for him to reopen his eyes before helping him to sit up and stuff a few pillows behind him so he could rest on his back in a sitting position.

Gojyo's choice of words made him raise an eyebrow, but the content of his words got his attention. So it seems that someone had messed with his brain, that would explain his headache and nightmare.

He was lying on Gojyo bed again, much like he had when Gojyo first took him in. The place was very much the same as his memory provided. Messy things strewed across the floor, except a few things were cleaned to make room for the other two guests. While the brown-haired boy…no, Goku seemed to bounce around, the blonde monk (his memory provided the name: Sanzo) sat at the table smoking silently, but the sharp eyes were fixed on him with a pensive expression.

His eyes drift towards his hands and noticed the reason his limbs felt heavy was not only because of the headache, but also because he was wearing shackles. Judging from the difficulties he is having in summoning his chi, it is easy to tell that the shackles were no ordinary ones, but ones specifically made to hold youkais.

Seeing the questioning look in his eyes, Gojyo gave him an apologetic smile and handed him a cup of warm water "Sorry, but you were quite a handful when you were out cold, and the phony monk there insisted that he had had enough of your rampages, whatever that means"

"I understand." A smile tugged at his lips as the smoking monk gave him a death glare. He didn't really mind the shackles; rather, he was more concern of what he had done when he was unconscious to warrant this kind of treatment. He hadn't hurt anyone again, hadn't he? His heart sank when he thought about it because he could still feel the strong emotions raging inside him.

Though he was smiling, Hakkai was a total mess in the inside. The rage, grief and regret from one set of memory surge through his mind, so raw and strong that it made his whole body shake; but at the same time, the other set of memory was much calmer and rational. He felt torn.

Gojyo's sudden loud "OI!" snapped him back to present. His hands and bed cover felt wet, he looked down and saw that he had crushed the mug in his hands. Water and blood was leaking from both of his hands to the bed cover. Gojyo instantly grabbed both of his hands and pried them gently away from the sharp edge of the cracked mug, gently pulling out sharp fragments stabbing in him palms before grabbing a towel to wrap them around his bleeding hands.

"I'm really sorry…"Hakkai uttered an apology as Gojyo picked the fragmented pieces of the mug up and dumped it into the trash can, feeling ashamed that he had lost control and caused more trouble to the friendly man.

He was not used to this, he usually had his temper under perfect control, what is wrong with him?

"'s just a mug. You all right? No offense, but you really look like shit now." Gojyo didn't seem to mind the mug but was more concern on his condition.

"I don't know." He wanted to say he was fine, but no one is likely going to believe him after he crushed the cup so he told them the truth.

Sanzo's low chanting voicing floated into his ears, he didn't answer Goku's questioning "Sanzo?" as he kept reciting an unfamiliar sutra. A warm power washed by, and Hakkai was surprised that the raging emotions burning inside faded a bit.

"Empty your mind and imagine creating a shield of chi in your head." Sanzo said as he stood up and came near him. His face was impassive yet his eyes were observant as he gave his order.

Tying to ignore the raging emotions, Hakkai forced himself to push away images of the past and empty all thoughts and went into meditation. The rage and agony started to ease, and he could finally get a grip of himself.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry for causing all the trouble." He felt that he owes them all an apology for all the trouble he must have put them through. He felt ashamed and angry at himself. He had always been the one to take care for the rest of the team, but now he had become a burden.

"Don't sweat it." Gojyo waved it off unconcerned with a smile. Hakkai spot a light bandage around his left forearm and wondered why he hadn't notice it before. He could smell the faint smell of blood, so the wound should be more than a shallow cut. He looked at Sanzo and Goku more closely and noticed that they also had some cuts and bruises here and there.

He was so stuck in his sorrow that he had totally forgotten that they had battle Gonou and the youkai.

"Oh, this? It's just a small cut. "Noticing Hakkai staring at is arm, Gojyo said with a shrug. He really didn't seem to mind, but Hakkai had different thoughts.

"Gojyo-san, can I have a look at it?" Hakkai gave him a polite smile. Gojyo wanted to refuse but relented when he saw the insistence in his eyes. Holding both bandaged hands above Gojyo's bandaged arm, warm green light glowed as Hakkai checked and healed the wound with his chi.

"It should be fine for now, but the skin is still sensitive so please refrain from straining or irritating it for a few days." The mind shield and the healing tired him out as the shackled made it difficult for him to gather his chi. But he couldn't help but smile as Gojyo took off the bandage and stared in wonder as the deep gash was now replaced by smooth skin.

"Wow, that's really cool! I didn't know you could do other stuff with that energy ball of yours." Goku's eyes shone with interest as he also stared at Gojyo's healed arm.

Feeling relieved that Goku didn't seem to hate him anymore, Hakkai was about to extend his healing offer when Goku turned to Sanzo and asked "Sanzo, you wanna ask him to heal your wounds, too?"

"No." Sanzo's response was terse. Feeling a bit bolder, Hakkai caught Sanzo's eyes and gave him a smile. "Please let me thank you properly. I know I've caused you a lot of trouble, but I'd like to at least start cleaning up the mess I have caused." He said earnestly.

"So are you…..Cho Gonou….or his twin brother of some sort?...Shit this is so weird….." Gojyo stared at him, and Hakkai knew they've all been itching to ask the question from the very beginning.

"Erm…" He hadn't really figured out how to explain everything from the start. But Sanzo cut in before he could say anything "You are Cho Gonou from the future timeline, and so is that centipede freak. The person he took away is the Cho Gonou from his timeline."

"Eh?!" Goku and Gojyo both stared at Sanzo in shock, Hakkai was surprised as well and had to admire Sanzo's ability of observation and deduction.

Seeing their shocked face, Sanzo gave an irritated "che" and started to explain. "It's impossible for two same people to exist at the same time, since they are both real, the only explanation is time travel." Sanzo's cold amethysts eyes stared at Hakkai like he was seeing right through his soul. "Cho Gonou was converted into youkai only about a month. One is still struggling with the youkai power while the other has full mastery on his chi, it doesn't take a genius to figure out who is from the future timeline."

"That's why you said **_you_** couldn't come with me. Isn't it?" Sanzo directed the last sentence at Hakkai. Though it seem like a question, there was only absolute certainty in his voice and it was clear that he was not asking, but merely making a statement.

"Yes." Seeing no reason to hide or beat around the bush, Hakkai was more than happy to confirm his statement, it really saved him a lot of energy explaining.

"So that's why you know my name…" Gojyo stared at Hakkai in wonder and Hakkai gave him a friendly smile and nod. "But how did'ja know they're the same person? It's more logical to guess they're twins." Gojyo asked Sanzo curiously.

Sanzo looked impatient but still answered "No two people have the same chi constitution and distribution. But he and Cho Gonou have the exact same chi constitution; the only difference between their chi distributions is the level of mastery"

"So what are we going to do now that there're two of them?" Goku stared at Hakkai in wonder and asked Sanzo. "Do we have to take them both back?"

"The Cho Gonou we are after is the one that freak took away, we'll have to hunt that freak and get Cho Gonou back." Sanzo didn't hesitate to answer as he already had a clear goal in mind.

Hakkai listened to their discussions a bit longer but the words are not really registering in his mind. The headache had faded slowly, but he was still exhausted from the mind manipulation, the healing he just did drained what little energy he could muster. After knowing that Sanzo knew everything, he was finally able to relax fully as his companions surround him. He dozed off before anyone noticed.

This time, he was freed from nightmares.

-tbc-


	6. Chapter 6 understanding

When he woke up again, he felt fresh and fully awake. The raging emotions were calm so his head was clear.

It seemed deep into night and the lights were all out. He was lying on bed again, and he made a mental note to thank Gojyo for helping him lie down again.

Gojyo and Goku's light snoring voice came into his ears. He turned his face and saw Gojyo sprawling on the couch, Goku was sleeping soundly as he sat at the table and nested his head on his arms. Sanzo slept on the chair in a sitting position with his head hung slightly and his arms folded.

Carefully climbing off the bed, he took extra care not to let the chains on the shackles scrape loudly on the floor as he made his way to the restroom to relieve his full bladders. He made his way back to bed and sat down as he buried his face in his hands.

He was glad they were asleep, he really didn't know if he could smile right now.

 **What on earth had he done!?**

He had vowed to bury " **Gonou** " after he was given the chance to be reborn. He had vowed not to let such rage go rampage. He had tried to be a kinder person, to heal others instead of harming, to make things right and start over.

All his endeavors were destroyed by a mere youkai. The centipede youkai had torn away all the illusion and showed him what a hypocrite he had been.

He showed him that " **Gonou** " was very much alive and he had never really made progress at all. "Hakkai" was never born, because " **Gonou** " wasn't dead from the very beginning.

He knew the absolute rage he felt when he faced the centipede youaki and when he woke up in Gojyo's bed was the very same rage he felt when Kanan was taken from him and after he had committed the terrible crime. But instead of fighting it, he had let the forbidden rage take control of him; he had learned nothing from his past mistakes.

How could he face the people who trusted him now?! Sanzo had stated bluntly in front of Sanbustushin that "Hakkai" would not fall back to his old self again and took responsibility for him. Gojyo and Goku had always been supportive and trusted him.

 ** _They had all placed their trust on the wrong person_**. He thought gloomily.

A deep sense of shame, despair and self-loathing washed over him and he couldn't stop shaking. Despite being shackled, he could feel the energy inside him slowly losing control but couldn't muster the strength to retain it.

"Cut that out." An angry growl broke him out of his self-hatred. The fully-awake monk stared at him with a crossed look. "The youkai energy is giving me a headache, knock it off or I'll give you a permanent headache." The banishing gun he is holding glint under the dim moonlight, indicating that Sanzo fully intend to follow that threat.

"Oh…" It took Hakkai a few seconds to remember that Sanzo is constantly on high alert and is sensitive to the shifts of youkai energies and chi. It's highly possible that he unintentionally woke Sanzo with his uncontrolled energy. "I'm sorry, I'll go back to sleep now."

"Don't bother" Sanzo didn't' seem keen to go back to sleep as he stood up and lit his cigarette. Walking towards the door, he turned to look at Hakkai and jerked his head towards the outside with a short commending "Out."

The word was not a request but an order. Under usual circumstances this would anger most people but Hakkai knew Sanzo well enough to know that's just how Sanzo speaks, so he followed wordlessly behind as he walked as quietly as he could.

Even though Sanzo prefers him as an equal, Hakkai has no intention to go against Sanzo's orders unless it is absolutely necessary.

Hakkai closed the door silently behind him as he sees Sanzo leaning again the wall and smoked silently. Not in a hurry himself, Hakkai leaned on the wall on the other side of the door framed and looked at the moon as he waited.

"Are you done sulking?" Was Sanzo's first question after a long silence.

"…Yes. I'm sorry for losing control." After being broke out of his self-hatred and having Sanzo by his side and treating him like he usually did, Hakkai found himself much calmer now.

"Why are you here?" Sanzo asked with his usual coolness.

"…I don't know." Knowing Sanzo was referring on why he did the time travel, he answered truthfully. Seeing the monk's frown, he elaborated his statement "I only remember checking in a hotel, and the next thing I remember is waking up in the woods near this town."

"…If that is true," Sanzo took a long drag of smoke and continued "Then the centipede freak is the one who activated the time-traveling spell, then, and you were caught in the mess and lost memory due to the shock of the spell."

That _does_ explain quite a bit.

"You owe men an explanation." Sanzo continued. Seeing the blank stare he was getting, Sanzo gave an irritated "che" before explaining: "Explain what that centipede freak was saying. "

"But isn't revealing events from the future considered taboo?" Hakkai asked. That was one of the reasons he wasn't really sure how to approach Sanzo. He isn't familiar with time magic, but he has a feeling that revealing too much of the future may cause some serious trouble.

"The laws of time spells are complicated, but the fact that you and the centipede asshole have your memories intact means that nothing both of you do or say would change the course of time. Time travelers would sooner or later be sent back to their own timelines, and when that happens, all traces and evidences that the time traveler had existed in other timelines would be gone as well, including memories." Sanzo explained rather patiently.

So that means his travel companions in this timeline would forget "Hakkai" had ever exist? That sounds rather sad, but it may be a blessing in disguise. If nothing he does would change the future too much, he is free to tell them whatever he wants.

He would feel more confident if Sanzo knows everything. He couldn't trust himself anymore, but he could trust Sanzo to do the right thing.

Hakkai fell silent for a long time, which Sanzo seemed to take as his refusal to answer. "I have more than one way to make you spill, and you're not going anywhere before I see fit." Sanzo eyed the shackles binding Hakkai's wrists and ankles, a hidden note of impatience and warning in his voice.

Hakkai chuckled and was surprised by his light mood he was in. The moodiness and heavy weight seem to have vanished. He slowly slide down the wall until he was sitting on the ground. Eyes still fixed on the moon, he spoke in a cheerful voice "I was just thinking that it'll be a waste to have serious discussions on such a beautiful night like this," Ignoring Sanzo's glare, he went on "but I do have a bed-time story to share."

Turning his head, Hakkai's smile was soft and serene as he looked at Sanzo "a story about a monk, a kappa, a monkey and a nanny going on a long field trip. Would you like to hear about it?"

"Suit yourself." Sanzo closed his eyes and kept smoking and made no comments when Hakkai closed his eyes, recalled everything that happened theses years and start telling the bed-time story.

* * *

"…so the monk, the kappa, the monkey and the nanny went on a long journey towards the West, and it is rumored that they are still on the trip to this day." Hakkai clapped his hand and held up his index finger cheerfully in a full teacher mode "Alright kids, it's time for good kids to go to bed."

"Shut up." Sanzo was smoking and appeared to be thinking hard, and Hakkai didn't mind it at all. He enjoys spending quiet time like this with Sanzo, a bit awkward, but enjoyable nonetheless.

Hakkai was jolt out of his thoughts when a rage that seems out of nowhere suddenly struck him. He quickly emptied his mind and thought back the days he spent with Sanzo at the Keiun Temple. Back then when he was first reborn, he stayed at the temple about a month before Sanzo threw him out and asked him to "rehab" in the society. Meditation was one thing Sanzo had taught him during that time. Sanzo would spend long hours meditating with him every day to make sure he gets a hold of both his emotions and youkai powers. The image of candle lights reflecting on Sanzo as he sat in a lotus position and the smell of burning incense would float in his mind every time he meditates, and a deep sense of calmness like sinking into the deep waters would calm the raging emotions he was feeling.

Sanzo's mere present calms and enrages him like no others. Those sharp purple eyes could always see right through the façade of calm smile he fights so hard to maintain. He hates feeling so vulnerable and exposed in front of the man. Yet, he would not have surrendered to Sanzo if he was any lesser man. He wouldn't have been drawn to the monk if he couldn't see through his façade, wouldn't have opened up to him if the man couldn't see and accept who he truly is. As contradicting as it seems, he craved for the man's presence, especially when he felt out of control. The captor and saver of his life had guided him through the roughest time with his own seemingly ruthless way, giving him what he needed the most.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed Sanzo was observing him again and seemed satisfied by his control.

"I'm heading back to the temple tomorrow to gather more information about that freak, you will stay here during the meantime". Crushing the cigarette butt under his foot, Sanzo announced his decision.

Hakkai was rather surprised by his words. "I'm the cause of all this, please let me handle him."

"I've already told you, you're not going anywhere before I see fit." Sanzo was now looking directly at him, eyes cold and unyielding. "You are nothing but a liability in your current state of madness."

Hakkai's hands clenched, but he could not find any words to challenge that. He had lost control far too many times in such a short time. He couldn't even trust himself anymore.

"Sanzo, please tell me what is happening to me. I have lost control too many times and I have a feeling that the anger isn't completely mine." Hakkai asked in an almost imploring voice, he wants to stop being afraid of himself, needs to know if he is really losing his mind, or if there is any other reason behind the burst of rage every now and then.

 ** _If I'm losing it, I really should put myself out of misery before I cause them any more trouble_** **…**

"I thought you'd have already figured it out by now, you are being affected by your past." Sanzo stated flatly.

"I know about past traumas, but…"

"I'm not talking about trauma shit, I'm talking about resonance." Sanzo interrupted impatiently "When two same existences appear in the same timeline, their thoughts and emotions can easily be affected by each other in a close range. Both of you getting hit by the fucker's mind control spell seem to have broken the mind barrier and created a link in both of your minds, connecting both your memories and emotions."

"Your bloodlust and rage came mostly from your past counterpart." Staring coldly at Hakkai's widen-eyes, Sanzo continued "Until you are able to keep that link from affecting you, you're not going anywhere. I have no intention to deal with two of you running rampages at the same time."

Hakkai glanced down at the shackles binding his wrists and ankles and gave a small sigh of resignation. The shackles had bound both his youkai energy and severely hampering his movements, if Sanzo refuses to unshackle him, there's really nothing he could do.

 **Yet** … relief flooded his whole body, like a heavy weight had been lifted. Everything made sense now, and the raging emotions were not from the demon that lived in his heart, but a mere reflection from his past self. That fact alone was enough to lift his spirits and light his hopes up once again.

Now that he knew he could trust himself, he was sure he could deal with the emotion problem. If the link Sanzo said is true, he should be able to block or force the emotion backwards to Gonou, maybe even help him get out of that centipede youkai's control.

He just needed some practices, and he had always been a quick learner.

"I understand." Feeling more confident and with a new resolve and goal in mind, Hakkai gave Sanzo a small smile.

-tbc-

please read and review.


	7. Chapter 7 Another side (Sanzo POV) pt1

**Chapter 5.5**

 **Sanzo's side of recounting the events what happened**

* * *

 **-Sanzo's POV-**

He had asked the temple to gather all information they could find about Cho Gonou after the Sanbutsushin had ordered him to find the mass murderer. Unfortunately, nothing more than his basic background and physical description could be found. Though the information that he fell in love with his own sister did make him raise an eyebrow, he wasn't going to judge since it was not his business.

He would have thought someone who was able to accomplish such feat was more recognizable. A single man able to wipe out a whole youkai clan by himself is something almost unheard of, but all the description he got about Cho was either "an emo kid" or "a nice school teacher".

The man would be either completely insane, or there would be something that had driven him into doing so.

A visit to the village Cho had lived provided all the answers he needed, as it's was surprisingly easy to get information out of the traumatized village people. Obviously sensing the uneasiness, the monkey had been surprisingly quiet, only asking questions after they had left the village. Sanzo did not pity the village people, for they had sealed the fate when they had selfishly decided to sacrifice others to save their own hides. But Cho Gonou had also sealed his own fate by committing such unspeakable crime. That is simply how the laws of karma work, and the Sanbustushin would decide on the man's fate.

Since it didn't seem that Cho would be back to the abandoned house he and his sister shared anytime soon, the next place to visit would be where he had committed the mass murder. He was mildly surprised that someone had set fire on the castle, but it was perfectly understandable sine the Hyakugan Maou clan share an equally shitty reputation among both youkai and human races, especially Hyakugan Maou himself. Since no one had the guts to stand up against them, the clan's greed and arrogance had swell until it finally marked their downfall.

One would say they definitely had it coming, but yet again, it wasn't up to anyone to decide if they deserve to die or not.

He was about to leave the burning castle when he saw a young man on his knees weeping silently. As a monk, it wasn't difficult for him to recognize the man was youkai, though the silver earcuffs did a good job hiding his aura. Thinking that the guy must be a survivor from the clan, he was about to go and ask if he could get some useful information about the mass murderer when he finally saw the young man's eyes.

Lush green eyes filled with soul-deep sorrow.

He hadn't thought the mission of Sanbutsushin would be so easy.

* * *

…And of course he had been wrong, how could he have thought anything would be that simple? He's willing to bet the merciful hag probably laughed her ass off at him.

He knew that damn smiling youkai with a monocle was a pain in the ass the moment they faced each other. The man looked nothing like who he really was with all the polite shit and gentle smiling face; yet when he looked into those eyes, he could see darkness and layers upon layers of thoughts. He was beginning to understand why the Sanbutsushin had ordered him to go after this guy. There was no way the dunderheads in the temple would be able to deal with this guy, and human cops had no idea how to deal with youkais.

Slapping the annoying monkey with his paper fan who kept asking if he really was alright, Sanzo was understandably in a foul mood as he rubbed his sore neck. He hadn't lost a fight in such a long time that he could almost taste the bitterness on his tongue. The fact that he seemed to have played right into Cho's hands also made his anger burn. But aside from anger, there were just so many damn questions about that man; many things just didn't add up to his understand of Cho.

Being shaken by Cho'a attempt to remove Goku's limiter is what lost him the battle. Goku's limiters were no laughing matters, and he was so shaken by Cho's act that he was too late to react to his attack and paid the price. Seeing that Cho didn't persist on trying to remove the diadem, he had a funny feeling that Cho did it just to distract him, almost as if Cho knew he would react to it.

Cho knew them well, and that really put them in disadvantage.

The minute the fight began, he knew Cho was a powerful and decent fighter. To be more precise, he fought like a veteran who knew what true battles were like; the amount of chi he is able to pull and level of mastery in his martial arts and chi manipulation were stunning as well. None of these made any sense because the mastery could only be achieved by countless practicing and experiences, which a single killing spree couldn't have provided, not to mention Cho was made a youkai only a month ago.

And Cho did all this with his damn limiters still on.

But what really bothered him was how Cho seems to know his fighting style so well, and the way he looked at him. His aims were true, but none of his bullets hit the target because the man seems to know how to dodge them. The way Cho looked at him nagged at him as well; it was their first encounter and they were enemies, but the way Cho looked at him was more like seeing a dear friend rather than a foe. It was no coincidence that they both ended with limited injuries; Cho had deliberately avoid causing any crucial injuries when he could have snapped his neck with a blink of eye when he lost conscious; but instead, Cho had been more into running than fighting, which made no sense coming from a mass murderer.

He snorted at that thought. He didn't know why Cho had shown mercy after his killing spree, but he sure the hell didn't feel grateful. He was even more determined to hunt that bastard down and wring all the answers out of him.

* * *

Fingers brushing through the manacles in a package he had asked the temple to send over, Sanzo absent-mindedly watched the monkey wolf down dish after dish, causing people to stare in horror. He didn't bother to scold the monkey since he was deep in thought. The shackles were spell-blessed with holy magic and sutras, sturdy and made specifically to hold youkais. He hadn't thought he would ever need something like this, but Cho had proven himself to be a pain in the ass target. Since he had orders to bring Cho back alive, the best option would be to bind him and drag his ass back to the temple.

The information he gathered while waiting was rather intriguing. Many people had confirmed they had seen the green-eyed man running around the town asking if they knew him or a man named Sha Gojyo earlier that day. Several town folks even complained that they got totally ripped off by "that smiling bastard". He knew Cho was smart enough not to show his face now, but he'll drag him out from whatever hole he was hiding in, and Sha Gojyo's house seem like a good place to start.

But something the town's people rumored about Sha Gojyo didn't make sense, a rumor saying that Sha Gojyo had taken in a seriously wounded man with green eyes. He had a gut feeling that the man was exactly the person he was looking for, but the man he had fought earlier that day seemed perfectly healthy and much too agile for a person with a deep gut wound.

Some of the vital information was missing, and he's definitely going to get to the bottom of everything.

 **-tbc-**

Changing POVs are interesting, since it's more about Sanzo and Hakkai, I decided to let them tell their side of stories.


	8. Chapter 8 Another Side (Sanzo POV) pt2

chapter5.5 part 2

* * *

 **Sanzo's POV**

The skirmish with the damn red head got him riled up, the damn punk caught him off guard only because he got distracted by Cho. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but when Cho Gonou poked his head out worriedly after hearing the gun shot, he couldn't help but stare.

Not many people knew, but one of his special talents is reading chi or auras of other people. It comes extremely useful when he is dealing with people, as he is able to detect lies, assess their strength, or even find hidden enemies. Right now, he wasn't really sure if he should be surprise. The green-eyed youkai was definitely not the person he fought earlier, anyone could have told that their demeanors were totally different, but the two of them shared the exact same chi pattern, which means they are the same person.

How is it possible? Unless…

The red head was so determined to let Cho run, and he would have succeeded if Sanzo hadn't brought the stupid monkey along. Cho was no match to Goku's strength as his gut wound seemed to have reopened. He was certain the monkey was going to win, but his heart skipped a beat when he noticed his gun was within Cho's arm reach, and the fear was made true when Cho grabbed his gun and pointed it straight at the monkey. The monkey was tough, but there's no way Cho would miss in such a close range, and no youkai had ever gotten back up after being hit by his banishing gun.

To his mild surprise, Cho admit his grave crime but had not asked to be pardoned, only begged to be given more time to do what seemed like a last wish. The eyes showed deep pain and sorrow, and Sanzo was almost inclined to grant him that request when another youkai appeared and things had gone shitty once again.

Cho looked like a completely different person in his youkai form. Not that he had transformed into another being, but his whole demeanor and aura had changed. Slit golden eyes marked his heretic like Goku's, and judging from how Cho became a youkai, Sanzo wasn't surprise he had golden eyes. Though unlike Goku, his eyes remind him more of a deadly predator. Dark green vine pattern covered his body and face as his ears lengthen and claws stretch, making him look more menacing and every inch the murderer he had been hunting for.

He knew from the battle earlier that this man was powerful, but the extent of his true power had surprised him nonetheless. The youkai energy he was giving off was stunning and put him on high alert. He had met and killed his fair share of youkais, and the only youkai he knew was stronger than Cho was the monkey's true form, meaning TARFUN.

He went straight to activate the sutra, but the centipede asshole beat him by ordering Cho to attack before he could finish the spell. Cho was lighting fast, and before they knew it, the three of them were barely dodging the claws, teeth and vines of Cho and the disgusting centipedes crawling around them. The asshole centipede gloated things that made his suspicions grew, but before he had the time to work out the meaning, the huge blast of energy came flying towards them.

The tale-tell blast was so familiar Sanzo didn't need to guess who sent it, he had expect the man to show himself when he came here. But he was only able to confirm his theory when the man in green tunic walked out of the woods and stood in front of them. The two green-eyed youkais were definitely the same person, not even twins could share such similarities in their chi component. But the Cho who just appeared was much stronger than the one controlled by the youkai. Everything including the man's earlier words made sense now -This Cho did not belong to this timeline, nor did the centipede youkai from Hyakugan Maou's clan.

Unfortunately, he had a bigger problem in hand. As he stood there, Sanzo more than understood why the man could commit mass murder. The tenderness and emotions Cho had displayed earlier were gone, replaced by a stony mask of cold hatred. There was no snarling voice of anger, nor had the handsome face contort. But the coldness in the expression and eyes were enough to make the bravest man cower in fear.

Sanzo had faced enough people's wraths, but none felt like the man in front of them. Cho's rage did not burn like fire; rather, it freezes like the deepest pit of hell. The bone-chilling darkness of hatred and killing intent were like scraping bones with iced butcher knives, threatening to reduce everything into nothingness. Even the monkey seemed to be on edge.

This was probably the last thing the unfortunate thousand souls felt before they were sent to meet their makers, and Sanzo felt fortunate that the anger was directed solely at the centipede youkai. Because right now, the Cho with the monocle is far more dangerous than his counterpart, even if he still has his limiters on. If Sanzo had any questions why the higher-ups had send him to capture the murderer, there were none right now. Cho Gonou really was one hell of a dangerous son of a bitch. Two of them put together are an equation to a disaster or countless piles of corpses.

The lighter aura of Cho who just emerged from the woods darkened into the swirl of ink black from the other Cho. Their aura and emotions merged and shift with resonation as their rage synchronize with one another until it was difficult to tell them apart. Sensing things turning to a downhill, Sanzo was about to interfere when they launched attacks. It was obvious that the Cho from future timeline had the upper hand even though he still had his limiters on.

The battle ended a mere few seconds after he was finally able to activate the Maten Sutra, and he had to admit it was quite the anticlimax after the centipede freak disappeared with Cho Gonou and his counterpart fell unconscious after getting hit by the youkai's mind controlling spell.

The red head had ran to check the man the moment he fell unconscious, and Sanzo was surprised to be invited in the house. Sanzo brooded quietly as the hanyou hauled the unconscious green-eyed youkai up and carried him into the single bed, all the while muttering "Damn…this really feels like a bad joke…"

Quite suddenly, the greed-eyed youkai's body jerked violently as he clutch his head and started to growl and moan in pain. The déjà vu hit, but Sanzo was ready this time.

"Goku, hold him down and put these on him." Sanzo threw the small package with the manacles in it. The idiot kappa protested, but Sanzo fired his gun at him and snarled "I'm sick of dealing with his rampage, and to hell if I'm going to waiting for him to attack. Shut up or make yourself useful!"

The kappa didn't seem keen to the idea but relented nonetheless and helped Goku to pin the thrashing youkai down. The youkai continued to struggle, and one flailing limb slammed into Gojyo's chest and the hanyou winced in pain and faltered a bit "Shit that hurts like hell…"

"Stop being such a baby, t's only a punch." Goku fumbled with the manacles while still trying to hold Cho down.

"Why don't you get hit yourself you idiot monkey!" Sha Gojyo snarked back.

"Why would I do that you stupid kappa? And stop calling me a monkey!" Goku protested angrily and accidently lost his grip, getting him a smack on his face by the unconscious youkai "Ow!…."

"Ha! Serves you right, see what I mean?" The red head gloated and was greeted by Goku's kick on his shin.

"Why you…!"

Finally losing what little patience he had, Sanzo fired three shots in a row at the fighting duo which whizzed dangerously past their heads, causing the pair to freeze up in fear. "Shut the fuck up and do your job!" He snarled in complete rage.

"All right! All right! No need to get so pissy! Geeze, did something just crawl up your ass or something?" The stupid kappa had the gall to complain, so Sanzo rewarded him with another round of bullets. "Fuck! I'll shut up, Ok? Stop it!" The kappa yelped as he dived for cover, apparently the bullets had whizzed by too near for his taste.

Once the manacles were secured around Cho's wrists and ankles, Sanzo gave a huff of relief. One trouble down and things finally seems to get better a bit…

"Sanzo, can't you do something?!" Goku stared worriedly at the youkai still fighting tooth and nail, he was no longer a threat to others with the manacles on, but the way he strained and struggles was obvious that he'll soon bruise or fracture his arms or legs.

…of course things had to get complicated, not that he cared, he just had no interest in seeing the man tearing himself up and make a mess. Sanzo sent a mental curse to the Gods that had got him into this mess and went over to check.

Cho's energy was damped down but still in chaos, his energies were clashing and fighting each other and unable to calm down.

"He's fighting the mind control. Since it's not possible to kill the spell caster now, he'll have to fight it himself." Sanzo said evenly. He felt a small amount of respect towards the man. Cho's counterpart gave in soon, but the man in bed had been fighting for more than half an hour.

Though he was still fighting, Sanzo could tell Cho was slowly losing the battle, judging from his current state, he may very well lose his mind and end up in a coma for life.

Sanzo's eyes narrowed in irritation. He didn't go through all this shit just to end up with a useless pot of plant. Cho has the answers he needed, and he'd be damned if he waste such valuable recourse after finally getting hold of it.

Glancing down at the sutra sitting on his shoulders, Sanzo weighed his options. The Maten sutra tends to finish off most youkais, and he was not sure if the sutra would do any good in mind spells; but since he didn't know any spells to break mind-controls, the Maten stura seem to be his best shot. There was also another part he didn't care to share, the part of him that simply just want to save the man.

He detests human contact because the people he met were mostly idiots, scoundrels, or hypocrites, but he doesn't dislike people who strive their best to live. He saw with his very eyes what Cho is capable of, and Cho is no doubt an extremely dangerous threat to others. But the image of the earlier fight and the memory of Cho begging to be given more time also came to his mind. He saw a shine of resolution and gentleness, and a man deep in grieve and remorse. Under the appearance of a monster is a human repenting and striving to become a gentle person.

It intrigued him, and Sanzo wished to understand more about this man. If there was still enough humanity left in Cho, the Maten sutra could probably save him.

Golden light blazed once again as the sutra came to life, but instead of binding or destroying, the sutra surrounded Cho like a giant ball, floating Cho into midair. Cho let out a scream that sounded oddly like the centipede freak, eyes cracking opened a bit.

The lavish green had been tainted with a shade of gold, glassy eyes stared blankly as he muttered something softly before sliding shutting once again, and suddenly all was quiet.

The golden light had faded and the sutra had dropped back on Sanzo's shoulders, Cho had fallen back on bed and was now sleeping quietly. The house was silent for a long time before the red head whistled "Wow, that was intense!"

Sanzo wanted to roll his eyes, he didn't know if others heard it nor did he care, but the words Cho muttered before closing his eyes was his name. He sighed an irritated sigh, Cho really was a pain in his ass, and the damn youaki had better be worth all his efforts!

-end of chap 5.5-

* * *

TARFUN= things are really fucked up now


	9. Chapter 9 Decision

**Gojyo's POV**

"Hey…you need help, Hakkai?" Gojyo offered as casually as he could after sharing lunch together. He felt like a married man. Every day he would sleep late and get up, his green-eyed guest would be cleaning the house and cooking like a housewife. Though the man had everything it takes to be a "good little housewife", Gojyo would never dream of thinking him as such.

"I'm fine Gojyo, please take a seat while I clean the kitchen up." The man who insists everyone call him "Hakkai" gave him a kind and dazzling smile while he wiped the table clean with swift and effective movements even with the manacles still clasping on his wrists. But Gojyo could have sworn the green-eyed man had used enough strength to skin the table, and he feared that if he said the wrong thing, his hide would be the smiling man's next target.

Gojyo had a mix feeling for his new roomie. The man was polite and gentle most of the time just like Gonou; but unlike Gonou who was tentative and quiet most of the time, the man- Hakkai had an air of confidence and a smile that sometimes creeps him out of his skin. He had seen with his own eyes and experienced first-handedly what the green-eyed youkai is capable of, and it gave him the chills when he could tell the man wasn't actually smiling.

The night Hakkai went all out had scared the shit out of him, but it hadn't stop him from wanting to stay with the green-eyed man he still felt oddly protective of.

For some reasons, the phony monk had left the green-eyed man here. Stating that he was a busy man, and the "idiot red head" could play jailer for Hakkai. The converted youkai was still shackled, albeit the chains where lengthen a bit to give him more mobility. The invisible spell he put on Hakkai wrapped around the youkai's body and activates with the barrier he had set up around Gojyo's house before he left, trapping Hakkai inside the house and would become visible if he gets too close to the barrier. He even sent the monkey with bottomless appetite here to check on him daily.

The noisy monkey was actually not so bad, what irritates Gojyo was that Hakkai had accepted the monk's shitty treatment without a word of complaint. It's not that he didn't know why the monk had taken precautionary steps; it just irks him to think that the smiling man is too much of a masochist for his own good. He had suggested a few times to help the green-eyed youaki escape, but was declined rather firmly, stating that running wouldn't do him any good, and he really needed Sanzo's help.

He knew Hakkai was not doing well, though he was always smiling as much as he could, Gojyo had seen countless times when dark violence cross his face, sometimes his hands would suddenly grip tightly on anything he could hold onto, other times he would shut his eyes and take deep breaths, lock himself in the room, or sitting down doing the meditation thing. He never commented on any of it, just gave Hakkai the space he needed or offers him a pat on his shoulder or a drink afterwards.

Because it was Hakkai's own battle to fight.

But he never stayed away from the house unless the monkey or the monk had dropped by because he didn't feel safe to leave Hakkai alone. He wasn't worried that the converted youkai would escape, but worried that the centipede freak might show up again.

His got totally involved in the mess caused by his guest but couldn't bring himself to care. He had thought he'd never see Gonou again when the green-eyed man was about to leave, he knew those eyes were seeking death. In no position to ask the man anything, he just content himself with the man's name. Yet seeing the person Mr. Suicidal would become, Gojyo regretted that he had almost let the man go. Now that he had been given the excuse to really do something for his roomie, he'd be damn if he let anything happen to him!

* * *

 **Hakkai's POV**

He noticed the hesitation in Gojyo's voice and looked down on the rag he was holding. He couldn't help but sign in dejection as he notices it was torn. He knew his best friend was worried about him, and he could tell Gojyo wasn't the only one who was worried.

He was never alone in the house, Gojyo had given up his night lives to stay with him most of the time, and even if he had to leave the house, he would always wait for Goku to come by before leaving. Goku would stay by his side and talk about almost anything he could think of, and sometimes Hakkai would tell him stories he had heard or teach him what he knew. Sanzo would occasionally drop by as well for some coffee and ask for more information.

Goku came by every day to play and chat, no doubt on Sanzo's orders. Hakkai certainly didn't mind Goku's visits as the boy had always been a great distraction from his gloomy mood and reminds him of the happy days as a teacher. Though Gojyo would protest loudly and the squabbling pair would always end up fighting, he could tell they were rather enjoying each other's company. Hakkai was grateful for both of their companionship and wanted to pay back their generosities by cleaning up the house and cooking meals they like. But he was having a rather difficult time even doing that.

After Sanzo's reminding, he was able to tell which emotions were his and which of them belong to his counterpart, but it didn't help much. He felt that he had turned into a broken antenna receiving bits and pieces of emotions and memories from Gonou. Since the youkai most likely trapped Gonou in a nightmare to control him, the pieces of memory and emotions he received were mostly ones he wished to have been left in the past, or the ones that could easily drive him into going berserk again. So he was constantly fighting the negative mood threating to take over and had to refrain himself from taking the frustration out on his friends

He doesn't think Gojyo or Goku realize how close he was on the verge of lashing out at them, Sanzo probably suspected something but did not comment. He wasn't sure why Sanzo left him shackled but wasn't about to ask. The manacles weighed heavily on his limbs but were also a comforting weight, knowing that if he really loses it, there was no way he could defeat any of them in these shackles he had no hope breaking out himself.

He didn't buy Sanzo's reasons for leaving him here; he knew Keiun Temple had a large amount of anti-youkai equipment and dungeons to deal with unruly youkais. The most convenient and logical way for Sanzo would be to lock him up in the dungeons so he could personally keep an eye on him with all the resource at hand. But instead, Sanzo had left him here and asked Gojyo and Goku to guard him.

Hakkai couldn't help but smile. He wasn't going to say anything, but he's willing to bet Sanzo's true intention of asking them to guard him was not so he couldn't escape, but counting on them to protect him if the centipede youkai decides to make a move.

he was extremely grateful to be left at the place he felt most comfortable of and have friends surrounding him instead of being left alone in dark cells where no one is likely to go near him. He hadn't realized how much he needed his friends until he noticed how many times they had pulled him back from his own emotions.

A new sort of burning rage and determination had lit up inside him, but this time, the subject to that rage was himself.

 **I can't keep wallowing like this! Not when I have someone I should protect!**

He is done with getting controlled by his ghost from the past. He closed his eyes and held the pocket watches that once belong to his beloved girl tight in his hand. The unspeakable crime he had committed, her last teary smile, and his own despair and horror when he could no longer let the end justify his means because she was dead.

His conscious and guilt ate him inside out every passing day when he finally woke up from his self-proclaimed crusade. He had his revenge, but the price was far beyond what he could pay for, a sin so great he had no hope to atone even with his own miserable life.

Then, the endless torment was broken by blood-red and gold.

 **Kanan, I'm sorry that I've failed you so completely and turned myself into a monster, but I have people I have to protect so I must move forwards, please help me…**

He reopened his eyes and stared into the darkness of his mind, the part of him he had always ignored and sealed away. **"Gonou"** stared back at him, the face marked with vine patterns and blood stains broke into a smile showing his fangs. Heretic yellow eyes shone with predatorily light as he purred.

Hakkai took a step forwards.

* * *

"You should tak'it easy, man. I know you're trying to keep you mind off things but you really shouldn't push that hard." Gojyo was now standing beside him, warm hand gripping his arm gently as the blood-red eyes held his gaze firmly.

"…I guess you're right." Hakkai sighed as washed the rag and laid it neatly at the counter to dry it off. He dropped heavily into a chair and tried to work the sore muscles out. "I'm just too distracted and a bit worried."

"The nanny is worried about the monk, the monkey and the kappa?" Gojyo smiled as he sat down as well and lit a cigarette.

Hakkai's eyes widen before giving a small laugh "So you heard my bedtime story that night? Good kids shouldn't be sneaking out of bed, you know." He teased lightly

"Of course, the asshole monk was being a dick, and I don't remember ever being a good kid, so you can forget about that." Gojyo grinned at him

Hakkai just had to smile at that "I should've known better. And don't blame Sanzo, I did knock him out and robbed his gun after all." He finished rather sheepishly.

Gojyo let out a bark of laugh "Really? Damn dude you're really something! Wish I hada' chance to see how angry he got."

Hakkai didn't need to think at all, Sanzo's furious face came easily to his mind, and he mentally thanked the trigger happy monk for not shooting him.

"But I guess you're right, the nanny is rather worried about them." The smile twitched a little and Gojyo felt a bit cold.

"That bad?" He ventured carefully.

Hakkai's smile was full blast now, way too bright that Gojyo had to fight back a shudder. "Yes." He had lost count on how many times he had to pick up after them, and that memory of the following day he got up after a three-day cold was a nightmare that haunted him a few days. Junks piled up like mountains and things were everywhere, he got so angry that he had taken Sanzo's gold card and Hakuryuu somewhere else to cool down. He could not imagine what kind of mess his companions had managed to produce while he was gone.

"What's it like? I mean, to travel almost two years?" Gojyo asked, partially trying to get the scary smile off his guest's face and partially out of true curiosity.

Seemed caught off guard by the question, Hakkai's anger drowned as he start to ponder how to answer that.

They had been together through almost everything, so many things and emotions involved that here were no simply ways to put them into words, so he simply smiled and said "It was hard, but really great."

He missed them, his companions from the past were by his side but it was just not the same. Sanzo had said they would not remember him once he returned to his own time; so when Goku asked how they should call him, he had taken the liberty and cheerfully suggested that he would love to be called "Hakkai", which Goku again comment that it really suit him. Sanzo had given him a look but humored him by using the name as well.

Gojyo looked at Hakkai's faraway smile and couldn't help but smile as well. He couldn't really imagine going on a long trip with the asshole monk, noisy monkey and the creepy nanny, but the way Hakkai smiled made him think perhaps it wasn't a bad idea after all.

"Sound's nice."

* * *

It was about a week later when Sanzo showed up again with Goku, but everyone notice his eyes were on Hakkai the moment they were in Gojyo's house.

Drinking the tea Hakkai served, Sanzo cut straight to the point: "The bastard is gathering mercenaries and thugs to build his army, using something like the treasure of Hyakugan Maou clan and his new puppet to get them to join in. judging from the force he gathered, he's likely to launch an overall attack within this week."

"new puppet…?" Goku's question was cut off when Gojyo elbowed him hard at his ribs. The hanyou gave him a nervous reprimand look as he glanced at Hakkai. It took Goku a few seconds before the meaning finally sank in and he fell silent as well, glancing at Hakkai nervously.

Hakkai's face darkened. It didn't surprise him that Gonou was used as a tool. That had been the centipede youkai's intention from the very beginning. He felt no qualms if they need to beat up Gonou because there was no way he would allow himself to attack his companions. He just stood there and waited for Sanzo's decision.

To his mild surprise, Sanzo fell silent and stared straight into his eyes, Hakkai held his gaze and stared back with equal intensity, a silent battle between amethyst and emerald. Finally Sanzo broke the silence "Well?"

Hakkai looked down at his hands for a long time before finally looking up"…This is my battle to fight. But I'm afraid I can't fight the centipede youkai myself." Hakkai said quietly.

"And why is that?" Sanzo lit his cigarette and asked levelly.

"I have someone I must save," He looked at Sanzo and stated bluntly "and I can't afford to waste my attention on anything else."

A very small smile tug at Sanzo's lips. Reaching for his pocket, he tossed something at Hakkai who caught it by pure reflex. He looked down and found a set of keys lying in his palm.

He didn't need to ask what they were for

-tbc-


	10. Chapter 10 The beginning of the end

Night fell in the deep woods, and the only sound the people gathered here can hear were the rustling of the branches and leaves. But they were far more occupied by something else to care.

Large campfire burned as over a hundred people had gathered here, men and youkais alike. The blue haired centipede youkai watched with growing satisfaction as everything unfolded according to his plan. Of course he had gathered enough treasure and money to lure them to join, but he had to admit using Cho Gonou as his tool had proven to be one of his best decisions as well. The man was incredibly powerful and was an efficient killer, an extremely useful tool enough to "persuade" others to join.

The Sanzo Ikkou wouldn't even know what hit them when he launches attack. They had no way to know he was gathering armies.

He glanced at the green-eyed man standing motionlessly by his side like a silent body guard and couldn't help but sneer. It was such fitting for Cho Gonou to pay his price like this, and he was sure his people would have approved as well. A scum human dared to stand up against youkai, ravaging and killing his people just because a whore. He would correct the mistake and let his people rule once again.

It didn't matter that the other Cho Gonou somehow followed him here, there were only four of them, and there is no way they can deal with all of his armies.

A large sound of explosion interrupted his thoughts; their firearm warehouse had burst into flames.

"What the hell happened?!" One of the leaders of the mercenaries demanded angrily as the firearms and bombs inside continue to explode.

"Sorry, pal." A man with a big bandana and shouldering a *guandao grinned as he lit up another smoke, not so sounding sorry at the very least. "I was just smoking, didn't think something like this would've happened."

"Sha Gojyo!..." The centipede grated out as the man pulled off his bandana to reveal the curtain of smooth red hair. He couldn't understand why the hanyou was here, and he also couldn't believe he had let him infiltrate the army without noticing. "You're going to pay for this, you filthy half breed!" The centipede snarled and was about to signal Gonou to attack him when another voice stopped his movement.

"That wouldn't do. You really need to work on your hospitality since I was here before him." a man a few feet away from him took off his hat to reveal a face with vine marks and mismatched eyes, two of the silver ear clips was missing. "Though I'm surprise you didn't notice me a bit earlier.

"Cho Gonou…" He stared furiously at the converted youkai. He had totally missed his presence because he had assumed the energy came from his puppet.

"Kill these bastards!" He snarled at his troops who scrambled into actions. Cho lazily pulled off the remaining limiter to release his full power as Gojyo spun his guandao in anticipation. The others tried to encircle and gang on them, but a few surprised cries were heard when a bunch of people were sent flying.

"Come on, you guys aren't even trying your best! " A brown-haired boy shouted excitedly as he swiped a thick sturdy pole around with ease, sending more people flying. "Let's play, you evil baddies!"

The mob shouted angrily as they raised their weapons, but after a string of gun shots, six of the mobsters fell dead and the others froze in shock.

A golden-haired monk emerged from the woods, emptying bullet shells before idly reloading it. "What's wrong?" He asked coldly as he pointed his newly reloaded gun at the stunned crowd, purple eyes icy cold and promising death "Want the sutra? Come and get it, dickheads."

 **"** **KILL THEM!"** The centipede youkai was beyond furious now. His didn't understand why, but all he knew now is that his plan had totally gone down the drain and he would be sure they all paid for it. Sutra be damned, he will rip each and everyone one of them apart, and he had a good helper this time around.

Gonou was already moving to attack when he stopped abruptly and clutched his head. White light of chi blazed and forced everyone to leap away, the blinding light disappeared to reveal Hakkai standing there in his true form. The two now identical youkai faced each other as strong flows of energies swirl around them like winds, ruffling their lengthened hair. One had a blank but almost confused expression, while the other was grim determination.

"What are you doing? Attack them!" Sensing something wrong, the centipede youkai yelled at Gonou again but almost got shot in the head.

"Shut up, you pathetic piece of shit." Sanzo's voice was filled with contempt "You're so weak it's almost disappointing."

The centipede youkai almost snarled in rage, calling commands as Gonou moved again, but vines had slithered across and wrapped the green-eyed youkai firmly and held him in place, while Sanzo fired another round of bullets at the centipede. Having no other options, the centipede youkai had to abandon Gonou and ordered his crowd to kill the other three intruders.

"You can stall all you want, but there's no way you could defeat all of us, and I'm be stepping over your rotten corpses." The youkai snarled at them as more mobs emerge from the woods to join the fight.

"Quit your big talk and bring it on, asshole." Slicing through the enemies while flinging the guandao to get the blood off, Gojyo still had the grin on his face as he taunt.

Hakkai gave his companions a thankful glance before turning his attention back to Gonou. He'll have to trust his companions for taking care of the rest of enemies, because he had only one job tonight, one that will demand his full attention and cannot afford to get distracted.

The struggling youkai had let out his vines and were now snaking towards him. He quickly withdrew his own vines and sent a chi blast at Gonou, who dodged away.

Focusing all his attention on the other man, Hakkai concentrated on his chi and raised a mental shield blocking the youkai's energy as Gonou's emotions that threaten to break through. Summoning his own will and emotions, Hakkai slammed them straight back at the mental link, causing Gonou to stagger and looked surprised and confused.

He was sure the youaki had no idea the true effect the mind controlling spell had caused. Though the centipede youkai failed to control him, he did break some barrier between "Hakkai" and "Gonou", causing emotions and memories to affect each other. Hakkai had always been on the receiving and defending end, but tonight he is determine to make the link work the other way. To drag Gonou out of the mess with his own will.

Sanzo had taught him the basics, but the rest was entirely up to him.

The mental and physical attacks will tax on his energy, so it'll be a matter of time to see who would last longer. Either he would deplete his energy first, or he could successfully get Gonou out of the youkai's control.

Or perhaps he can count on his companions to finish off the spell caster first.

"Kanan, please help us…" Hakkai looked into the dead golden eyes and sent a silent prayer to his beloved sister as he prepare for the battle.

He is not here for any bloodshed or revenge tonight, he is here to save.

 **-tbc-**

*guandao: a Chinese pole weapon, similar to a glaive.

Goku's ploe is not his Nyoi Bo, Sanzo didn't change the past so Goku and Gojyo don't have their weapons yet. Since Shakujo is too unique, I'll just have to come up with something cool too.

sorry for the short update, I'm still working on the battle scene.


	11. Chapter 11 Eulogy

**_"_** ** _Gonou_** _"_ _gave him a cold smile when he approached. Hakkai looked into the hard eyes filled with contempt and fought down his own loath. He had vowed to bury this side of himself after he was renamed, but that part of him had simply refuse to stay in the past, lurking around every now and then when he wasn't paying attention._

 ** _"_** ** _Gonou"_** _is his true personality, a selfish, uncaring and ruthless man filled with rage towards everything. The darkness that ran deep inside him since he was young finally erupted when the cruel world tore Kanan away from him, and the unholy hatred had burned everything including his humanity into cinders. So when he became Hakkai, he vowed not to let the darkness take over ever again. He tried to become everything Gonou wasn't, he was mindful towards other people's needs, always putting others before himself, and tried to heal rather than destroy._

 _But that unholy rage and contempt was always there, ready to consume everything. He hated others, but he hated himself the most, the weak and angry self._

 ** _"_** ** _Gonou"_** _'_ _s appearance shifted, and Hakkai found a version of his younger self covered in blood standing in front of him now, eyes filled with hatred and slightly crazed. The sound of rain merged with the whispering "hateful….disgusting…." as the dark castle seemed to materialize once again, corpses littering everywhere as blood soaked the carpets._

 _Hakkai closed his eyes and tried to calm his pounding heart, the nightmares were always the same. His sins would replay in front of him again and again, driving him further into darkness. He had always tried to suppress it, but the recent event made it clear that ignoring it wasn't an option anymore._

 _He willed himself to look at_ _ **"Gonou"**_ _, remembering his own sins and sorrows, but also remembering the time Sanzo had chanted the sutra in front of the burned castle. The words had calmed his overwhelming despair, but now thinking back, he realized Sanzo wasn't just chanting to placate his sorrow._

 _Looking at_ _ **"Gonou"**_ _once again, he no longer sees the blood and sins, but a very sad and lonely man full of despair and didn't know any better._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, " Hakkai looked at_ _ **"Gonou"**_ _who now took the form as a grumpy child with glasses. "I shouldn't have stashed you away and pretend to forget your existence. The truth is, I'm just ashamed to admit my own weakness and sins."_

 _Hakkai crouched down and held the boy in his arms "I wish I could have been there to talk sense to you, but there are things we must go through to truly appreciate what we have."_

 _The form in his arms shifted until he was holding the green-eyed youkai cover with blood. Vines started to spread, but Hakkai didn't so much as flinch when the vines wrap around him. The youkai in his arms dissolved, and Hakkai looked down and found himself in his youkai form._

 _Lips quirking into a small smile as he flexed his claws and studied the vine patterns, Hakkai thought about their mission to the west and felt strangely at peace._

 _He had hated himself and the youkais as they always reminded him of his sin and lost, yet this was the very power he drew on when he was protecting his companions. Cho Gonou was nothing more than a serial killer, but Cho Hakkai had been a valuable member in the Ikkou, able to fight side by side with his companions and heal them._

 _The youkai form was his punishment, but it had also brought him redemption and his dearest friends, he never would have met any of them if he was human or still lived with Kanan._

 _He was still trying to get used to it, but he was sure someday, he would be able to walk around in his true form without feeling disgust and shame._

* * *

Clashing energies sent waves of energies like gusts of hurricanes, the tress had either been uprooted or totally destroyed, rocks and sands flew everywhere, causing both humans and youkais to try and get as far away as possible.

"Holy shit…"Gojyo muttered as some of his opponents were smashed by huge tree trunks or large rocks flung by the raging wind, splattering blood and matters he didn't want to know everywhere. He had to duck and slice through a few flying tree trunks to avoid the same fate. He swore he could have heard cursing and gun shots coming from the monk and shouts coming from the monkey. His gaze fell on the two figures clashing and fighting in midair "Fuck…this looks like a freaking monster fight…"

The two clashing figures landed back on the ground. One landed with grace while the other nearly sprawled on the ground when he landed, but both were pale while panting and sweating hard.

They both stood and tried to catch their breaths, Hakkai grimaced as the mental shield was not working well due to his depleting energy, causing Gonou's emotions to slip through and weaken his concentration. The wound on Gonou's abdomen had reopened and blood was sipping through the vine wrapped around it. He didn't feel pain but his body could no longer keep up.

They stared at each other for a long time, and Hakkai felt himself smile, a smile that did not reach his eyes and cold with contempt. "How long are you planning to hide behind that mental control? We've caused enough damage already."

Gonou launched forward, claws ready to strike; Hakkai dodged and waved his own razor-sharp claws at him. Gonou leaped out of the way but got a shallow cut on his face. Hakkai cursed silently when he noticed the hidden vines a step too late as they stroke from behind and bound him. Gonous was in front of him in a blink of an eye, sharp claws ready to slice through his chest. Hakkai congealed his chi into a thick shield in front of him while surrounding himself with hot burning chi. The tip of Gonou's claws stopped mere inches from his chest as the binding vines were forced to retreat due to the burning chi.

"Never knew you were such a coward, didn't you say you wanted to repent?" Hakkai was feeling rather weak, but he sneered at Gonou when a flash of Gonou's memories pushed past his mental shield "Or you're thinking about repaying your debt to the centipede clan by letting them use your body?" Hakkai's eyes were hard and cold "…pathetic."

Gonou's face finally showed emotions as it twist with anger, he charged once again, but Hakkai was ready, willing up his own emotions and memories, he let them fill him up and pushed it towards the mental link once again. Gonou slowed a bit with confusion as the unfamiliar memories flashed into his mind. Not waiting for Gonou to recover, Hakkai kick at Gonou's still bleeding abdomen as hard as he could, ripping a cry of pain out of Gonou as he sagged.

Hakkai's vines snaked out with lighting fast speed and quickly bound Gonou into a cocoon, Gonou struggled, but before he could let out his own vines, Hakkai took two pieces of small metal out of his pocket and snapped it on Gonou's left ear.

Gonou shuddered and twitched as the vines and claws disappeared, golden eyes fade into emerald. Hakkai loosen his vines until only part of them bound his hands and some still wrapped around Gonou's abdomen. Warm green light glowed and lit up the vines, Gonou looked at him in surprise as the glowing green light seep into the wound and repair torn tissue and stop the bleeding. Looking straight into Gonou's eyes, Hakkai willed his own emotion of calmness and pressed it against the mental link as he spoke "We have failed Kanan, and there's no excuse of the thousand blood that stain our hands. They are all dead because of our selfishness, and we must accept the sin."

Gonou's eyes were starting to show emotions as he starts to tremble, Hakkai could tell he was fighting the youkai's mind control now.

Hakkai sighed as he decided to go straight to his trump card. Reaching into Gonou's pocket, he took the golden pocket watch that belong to Kanan and pressed it tightly against Gonou's chest. Fighting down the bitterness on his tongue, Hakkai said the words that ate at him as well "Don't you still have something important to do? How long do you plan to leave Kanan's body at that godforsaken place!? "

Gonou let out a whimper, Hakkai loosen his vines binding Gonou's hands to let him drop to his knees and clutch the pocket watch. The dead green eyes now hold the sorrow of deep pain. Already exhausted, Hakkai kneeled beside him and braced himself as Gonou's emotions washed over, bringing up his own sadness and sorrow. But the sadness no longer controls him as he had made peace with himself. After five years, the ache of losing Kanan had damped into a dull pain, mellowing into sweet bitter dreams.

"How…" Gonou's voice was barely audible. "How did you do it…? How could you be so calm after our sin…, after losing Kanan?..."

It took Hakkai a few seconds to realize Gonou was talking to him, and he couldn't help but smile at that question.

"Because I had them." The mental barrier was completely down now because he did not see the point in using it anymore. Being so close to Gonou had upped the mental link to a whole new level, an intimacy they could almost feel each other's thoughts and emotions as clear as day. Hakkai willed up his memories with his companions, bits and pieces of everything he could think of and how he appreciate all of them.

"Is that so?..."Gonou's eyes lowered as he held the pocket watch tightly in his hands, but Hakkai knew he must have seen those memories and felt his emotions. Hakkai took the last piece of limiters out of his pocket wordlessly and clipped it back on Gonou's ear. Losing the youkai energy that was supporting the body, Gonou's battered and totally worn out body gave out as he lost conscious immediately.

Hakkai let Gonou lean on his shoulders while he kept the healing vines there a few more minutes until he was sure Gonou's guts weren't about to fall out again. He withdrew his vines and gently laid his younger self on the ground. Noticing the fight on the other side was still going on, he put his left palm on the ground and send out his vines while leaving his right hand ready to fire chi energy in case of attacks.

The vines raced silently through the grass like snakes, the very faint rustling sound of vines passing through bushes and grasses were covered by the noise of the battling. Hakkai concentrated on the shifting of chi through the vines and leaves to understand how the battle was going on. The skill had became extremely useful these days as he is able to scout without getting noticed. He had briefly thought about applying this when he get back before remembered about the minus wave.

The fight seem mostly over, many bodies were lying dead, but the familiar holy power and earth energy were strong as ever, meaning Sanzo and Goku were fine. he went on searching for the hanyou but lost his concentration and fell flat on the ground when a wave of dizziness came. Hakkai tried to pull himself up but found his body heavy as lead.

"Hey, stop pushing yourself, you've just exhausted yourself with all that monster fight." A lazy voice came over as Gojyo walked over and neatly avoid stepping on the vines. The red head squatted down next to him and helped him into a sitting position. "I'd probably be sleeping into the next millennia if I were you."

"I'm sure I'll wake up before that."Hakkai gave a small chuckle. Noticing that he really was drained and tired, Hakka drew the vines back to himself. "What about the battle?"

"They were totally child's play." Gojyo gave him a cheeky grin, but the few graze he sustained seem to suggest otherwise. "Though I had to admit I never knew monks or monkeys could be so tough. The pair of them took out almost half of the enemies, and that stinky monk had even got the police and monks into arresting the humans after we cleared out most of the youkais, don't know how he did it."

"I see. 'Seems that the plan worked out well." Hakkai stretched out to check Gojyo's wounds but was caught by a firm grip.

"Before you get any stupid ideas of trying to heal someone, I'll tell ya everyone 's fine." Gojyo gave Hakkai a warning look "Save some energy for yourself. I'm tired of dragging someone I can't bed with to bed, you know? Besides, no one had seen the centipede asshole for a while, which is bad."

Hakkai felt the hair at the back of his neck rose, suddenly the centipede youkai no one had seen for a while lunged at him out of nowhere with lengthen sharp claws, his faced twisted into an unholy rage.

Gojyo was faster; he leaped forwards and held the guandao flat in front of him to stop the youkai. He gave the pole of the guandao a hard push and swished the blade forwards, "so you've finally decided to show your face, ya coward. Be a man and fight your own fight."

But the youkai didn't seem to have heard him, the narrow eyes that stared at Hakkai and the unconcious Gonou blazed with such hatred that even Hakkai was taken aback. "Cho Gonou….you'll pay for this…..all of you will pay for this…."

Quite suddenly, the youkai's body lost its form as it continue to contort and expand, Gojyo gave a curse and jumped backwards but still stood guard in front of Hakkai.

The body lengthened into a huge black centipede with a blood red head, but instead of the shiny black shell, the murky body is gooey, contort faces that were still moaning pushed out from the surface. Even in this form, Hakkai and Gojyo could still hear the haunting voice muttering and cursing "you'll pay for this…you'll pay for this…"

"This is so fucking gross…" Gojyo sweared, "Better prepare yourself, Hakkai, this guy is totally nuts."

Hakkai stood up and looked at the huge centipede, willing himself to really look and feel. The centipede let out a screech of rage and charged forwards, he could hear Gojyo yelling something but he wasn't listening.

"… _I'm sorry_." Staring straight at the youkai, Hakkai's voice was nothing more than a whisper. Like a cue, golden light blast as the lengthened sutra flew into the air and surrounded the centipede. The screeching and moaning hatred of the centipede stood no chance in front of the absolute purging power of the Tenchi Kaigen Sutra. After what seem like a torturous eternity, the holy light faded and no trace of the centipede was left behind.

Hakkai closed his eyes.

He had felt rather than heard Sanzo activating the sutra so he wasn't worried when the huge centipede attacked. What really got his attention was the hatred and grief he felt from the centipede, but this time, instead of loathing like when he faced Chin Yisou, he felt a deep sense of sadness and regret.

The centipede clan already had a long list of karma to answer to even before they had taken Kanan, but none of it was an excuse for his actions of murdering all of them. He had repent and was ready to accept punishment, but actually feeling the depth of his sins was a total different story. The grief, despair, fear and hatred tore at his heart, knowing he had single-handedly caused all of this. He knew the countless contorted faces were the despair clan members traped in limbo and unable to move on because how their lives had ended.

Yet there was absolutely nothing he could do for them, his own miserable life was not even enough to sooth their misery. The only thing he could think of is to turn everything into the single apology.

 _I'm sorry I killed you in my selfish hatred._

 _I'm sorry I took away any future you could have had._

 _I'm sorry I must keep on living despite of my sins._

 _I'm sorry I have to eliminate you once again._

Hakkai stared at the place where the centipede had disappeared long after that, unable to look away.

"It's over." Gojyo's red eyes were solemn and knowing as he gave Hakkai's shoulder a firm but friendly squeeze before hooking his arm gently around his neck. Hakkai's peripheral gaze caught Sanzo smoking as he slowly walk out of the woods, Goku was right beside him, but none of them made any further comment.

"Yes…it's all over" Hakkai muttered.

Someday he would pay for his own pile of karma, but not now. He had a mission to do.

 **-tbc-**


	12. Chapter 12 Reminisce and peace

"Naaa…, Hakkai, when is he going to wake up?" sitting backwards on a chair and propping his head on both hands, Goku's huge golden eyes were idly fixed on the man laying motionlessly on the bed. It had been about three days since the battle, yet Gonou had showed no signs of waking up.

"I'm afraid you'll have to give him a bit more time, Goku, he hadn't recovered from his previous injury and he had basically exhausted himself during the time he was controlled by the youkai." Hakkai gave Goku a gentle smile as he set a plate with some pork jerkies on the table.

They were back at Gojyo's house now as Sanzo had dumped all of them, including the unconscious Gonou back to the house while he went back to Keiun Temple to deal with all the aftermaths of the battle. The mercenaries and thugs they arrested had been involved in many other crimes, and as the head of Keiun temple and leader of the eliminating operation, the job had of course fallen on Sanzo.

The monk had initially wanted to drag Gonou straight to the Temple of Setting Sun after the battle, but the gaunt look of Gonou unconscious form indicated that the wanted criminal probably wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, so the monk was forced to rearrange his priorities, and having them all packed chummily in the temple didn't seem to appeal to the monk at all. So that's why they are having some after dinner snacks in Gojyo's cabin.

Goku's hand that eagerly reached for the jerkies hesitated as he gave Hakkai an apologetic look "…about that, I really want to say sorry…"

"Goku…?" Hakkai looked at the younger man in concern.

"I didn't know you…I mean Gonou was hurt, so I kicked him really hard…" Fidgetting on his seat, Goku looked rather flustered.

Hakkai fought down the urge to sigh in exasperation, the boy was just too kind. "Goku, I'm a convicted murderer and I did attack Sanzo, you did the most logical thing to help Sanzo, so please don't blame yourself for something you couldn't have possibly known."

"yeah, but…"Goku was about to say something before Hakkai cut him short. "I'm more surprise you don't hate me after all of this, all of these happeded because of the terrible things I've done."

"Hey, stop going into the dark places again." Gojyo complaned. Hakkai's smile was still in place, but it was such a sad smile it pained Gojyo to even look at it. The smile was too much like Gonou and didn't suit Hakkai at all. "You can't change what you've done, and we're not going to judge you for that."

"Yeah, and your food is really great. I don't think anyone who can make such wonderful food like you can be a bad guy." Goku stated in a matter of fact attitude.

"You judge people by their food?! I should've known baby chimps like you can't think of anything but food!" Gojyo laughed and gave Goku a noogie.

"Stop calling me a chimp you damn roach, or I'm gonna pull that antenna of yours out!" Goku struggled and tug roughly at Gojyo's hair, causing the red head to yelp in pain "Stop that, I'm gonna get bald!..."

Hakkai smiled a small genuine smile as he sat beside the table and sip his cup of herb tea as he idly watch the pair fight, then reminded them that he can put the jerkies away if they're not interested. The pair immediately stop fighting and reached for the jerkies simultaneously.

Watching them wolfing down the jerkies, Hakkai's gentle smile revealed nothing.

"Hey, monkey. Did Sanzo say what he's gonna do after Gonou wakes up?"Gojyo asked as he opened a can of beer and took a long drink, then gave a loud sigh of content, "jerkies and beer really is the perfect match!"

"Stop calling me monkey, you erotic kappa!" Goku retorted as eagerly chew on the piece of jerky and stuffed another piece into his mouth "I don't know, Sanzo only asked me to notify him once Gonou is awake, he said he'll coming over later to check on him. I think he'll be fine." Goku glanced at Hakkai, who gave him his famous close-lip smile.

"Yeah, reckon so." Gojyo also looked at Hakkai like he was making sure of something, then he gave a yawn. "Damn, is it so late already? I'm kind of feeling tired."

"Ha, it's not that late; bet you're just getting old." Goku gave him a cocky smile, but before Gojyo could finish yelling "Who the hell are you calling old!" the golden eyed kid also gave a big yawn, he tried to stifle it but Gojyo had already seen it.

"Ha, looks like it's bedtime for the baby chimp, bet you'll start sucking your thumb any minute now…"

"What did you say!?"

"So you're both tired already?" Hakkai interrupted, looking a bit concern, "have you two been sleeping well?"

"Nah, I've got no problem sleeping, I'll just take a quick nap and will be back up soon." Gojyo rubbed his eyes and rested his head on the table "keep watch on the sleeping beauty for me, OK?"

"Me too, call me if he wakes up or Sanzo comes, OK?" Goku yawned loudly and sat beside the table as he nested his head on his folded arms, snuggling to find the most comfortable position, it was not long before he starts snoring.

"No problem." Hakkai looked at the sleeping pair as he answered idly, the smile still in place but the monocle flashed a bit. He waited a few minutes before he start talking again, but his eyes were gazing at no one. "If you want to make a run, I suggest you do it now. The drug I put in the jerkies will wear off in about an hour, it should be enough for you."

Silence greeted him, and Hakkai waited a few minutes before continuing "You heard what Goku had said, Sanzo will be here later, and your fake sleep wouldn't fool him. With your body still weak, I suggest you make a move as soon as possible, or they'll catch up pretty soon."

"…How did you know I was awake?" The bed rustled as Gonou fought to sit up.

Hakkai turned and gave him an odd smile "I'm a healer, and you think I wouldn't know my own tricks?"

"…Are you sure about this? You'll be in trouble if I leave." Gonou struggled to get to his feet, he swayed and had to leaned on the wall for support.

"I can take care of myself just fine, but you don't have time to worry about others, so I suggest you hurry up." Hakkai made no attempt to help his younger self, merely observing from his chair. "Go and give Kanan peace."

Gonou wobble on his steps, he still look pale and almost grey with exhaustion but his forest green eyes shone with determination. They stared at each other for a while, and Gonou could tell Hakkai understood. Closing his eyes, Gonou muttered a single "Thank you." before walking shakingly out the door into the forest, not forgetting to close the door before leaving.

Hakkai set down the cup he was holding and looked at his sleeping companions as a sad smile tug at his lips.

He felt a strong déjà vu in the whole ordeal. He still remembers vividly the incident of the *mirror treasure of Hyakugan Maou that reflected the negative emotions. Back then when another mass murder broke out, everyone including himself were convinced that he was the culprit, the only people who believed in his innocense were his companions. At that time, he was almost too scared to see the disgust looks in their eyes as his crime was displayed right in front of them, but they had stuck with him like a gum and refuse to back down the slightest.

That's why he already knew for a fact that they would forgive his stunt. They were great people and were far more than what a hideous criminal like him deserve.

He gently laid blankets on the pair and waited patiently for them to wake up.

* * *

 _"_ _Why didn't you tell him the castle is gone?" Sanzo's voice was cold with annoyance and anger._

 _"_ _He had to see it with his own eyes." Hakkai looked directly into the cold purple eyes firmly. Willing and almost pleading him to understand._

 _"_ _Ch!" Sanzo kept his gun as he snorted in anger and promptly turned on his heel and marched towards the door "We're going after him. Hurry up, Goku."_

 _"_ _Hey, I'm coming too." Gojyo hurried after the pair, Hakkai silently stood up and followed as well. Sanzo must have noticed them but made no further comments._

 _"_ _You know…you didn't have to knock me out, I could've helped." Gojyo complained to him._

 _Hakkai gave him a small smile "I know. But Sanzo can't blame you if you didn't know about it, and it wouldn't be fair to get you into trouble again because of me."_

 _"_ _Bah, I'm not afraid of that prissy monk!"_

* * *

"Naaa… Sanzo, where did he go? You know, the guy that looked like Gonou…" Goku seemed confused as he looked around.

"He probably returned to his own time." Sanzo said off handedly, but he was frowning as well, as if trying to remember something.

The red head tagging along with them had stop and kept looking at the house behind him in a strange expression, apparently deep in thought.

The three of them were now walked in the forest with a pace set by Sanzo, Gojyo had tagged along a little behind them, but the three of them seem distracted.

 _I'm actually right here…_ Hakkai walked silently beside them, looked down at his half transparent body and sighed. He had turned into this state after leaving the house, and the other three didn't seem to be able to sense nor remember his name.

Is this a sign that he's about to return to his own time? He wasn't sure, but Sanzo had mentioned that since the spell caster is dead, he could be sent back any time. But that doesn't explain his current state…it was almost like a ghost, like someone who is unable to move on due to some unfinished business or obsession…

Then it clicked, Hakkai smiled despite himself as he did have one more thing he want, something he had been really looking forwards to since he was thrown back in time.

He listen to them talk and bicker, how Gojyo was concern with Gonou's fate, and how the color of his eyes and hair is the color of penitence for Gonou. He quite agreed with Sanzo when he stated flatly that blood isn't the only thing red, and couldn't help but smile as Goku pulled at his red strands and said they were like burning fire. They boy's innocent words were always able to pull your heart in unexpected ways. Gojyo's crimson eyes and hair still look like blood to him sometimes, but they were no longer a constant reminder of his sin, but a beautiful color of life.

Hakkai watched idly as they started to run forwards when Goku suddenly told them there was the smell of blood. He felt an odd sense of fascination as he arrived after them and saw the torn out right eye lied abandoned at their foot. Hakkai smiled as Goku complained that he thought his green eyes were beautiful.

The words Sanzo and Gojyo said to Gonou and the youkai matched perfectly with his own memory, though he did wonder how Gonou would get out of this mess now since he didn't have Sanzo's gun this time.

The question was answered when youkai snarled in rage as he charged forwards, Gonou had stood up and the two bodies collided and Gonou was nearly knocked to the ground. It took the youkai a few seconds before he noticed his claws had missed his target and a dagger was deeply imbedded in his chest.

"You…bustard…" The youkai stuttered as life left his body. Gonou's eyes were cold as he pushed the lifeless body away before slumping down to the ground once again. With the adrenalin gone, he panting deeply and looked even grayer than before.

Goyjo walked over and offered a hand "Can you walk?"

Gonou stared at him in disbelief, and Hakkai could understand his feeling perfectly. Though it was more like self-defense, he had just killed someone right before them, and Gojyo was acting like nothing had happened.

"You might as well take his offer. We're all going to Hyakugan Maou's castle, and I'd hate it when someone wastes my time." Sanzo snorted as he marched forwards into the woods.

Looking at the pocket watch Goku had given back to him and looking into the encouraging crimson and golden eyes, Gonou let himself be pulled up with a small "Thank you."

They walked in complete silence, Gojyo pulled Gonou's arm over his shoulder and half carrying the man before he suddenly cursed. "That asshole!"

"What's wrong?" Goku blinked in confusion, he was walking on the other side of Gonou, unsure how to help him.

"No wonder he gave me that creepy smile when I ask him what happened to his right eye…" looking at blood still oozing from the makeshift bandage that covered Gonou's empty bloody socket, Gojyo couldn't help but mutter more curses under his breath.

"Huh?! I did notice his had mismatch eyes in his youkai form, so his right eye was a fake?" Goku was taken aback.

"I'm sorry, but are you talking about …the other " _me_ "?" Gonou seemed confused and not really sure how to express himself.

"Who else?" Gojyo huffed angrily, "He could have warned us about the attack, you know?"

"That's because he's a bloody masochist." Sanzo didn't turn around but his words floated over. Hakkai chuckled, idly planning to cut down Sanzo's mayonnaise supply when he gets back.

"Please don't blame him. It was my decision, and something like that was bound to happen sooner or later…" Gonou gave a small empty smile. "I'll pay for my sins…just let me…finish one more thing…" his voice was barely audible as he swayed a bit.

They all said nothing as the all of them continued to march forwards.

Looking at the castle that was burned to the ground, Hakkai closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He hasn't been able to save Kanan even in his second chance, he was such a failure.

They all stood there in silence as Gonou fell on his knees at the sight, stared blankly at the ruins and lost in his emotions and memories. He was no longer able to feel Gonou's emotions, but he didn't need the connection to understand Gonou's feelings, as he could recall it in his own memory like yesterday. He wasn't even able to shed a single tear as overwhelming despair and grief crushed everything inside him, leaving him utterly hollow and empty. He could tell from Gonou's expression that this is exactly how his younger self is feeling as well.

But he is not Gonou anymore, Gonou is a part of him, but he is Hakkai. So the emotions no longer took control of him.

Beside, this is the moment he has been waiting for so long. He looked at Gojyo and Sanzo, waiting in growing anticipation.

Knowing there was no way he could comfort Gonou, Gojyo threw a jab at the silent monk and asked him to recite a sutra. Sanzo retorted with a huff, but his usual cold voice lacked an edge of sharpness.

Hakkai watched as Sanzo sat in a lotus position and put on the gold crown he only uses in formal ceremonies. "The reason I recite the sutra is not for the dead." He stated promptly before putting his palms together and start the praying. It was only after knowing the monk so well did he understood how true those words stood. Sanzo never dwells on death; he continues to push forwards all the time and drags them all along with him.

As the words of the sutra wash over, Hakkai smiled as Gonou was snapped out of his grieving and stared at Sanzo in awe. He closed his eyes and let the unfamiliar words wash over him as well, soothing the pain and sorrow inside him.

It wasn't that Hakkai had never heard the monk recite sutras before, but this one was specifically for Cho Gonou, and probably for the yet-to-be-born Cho Hakkai at that time.

He had grown up in an orphanage of Catholics, but he never once believed in them because religions were pointless and useless in his bitter young mind. But somehow, through the unfamiliar words recited by the voice that shot down any doubts and without any dim, Sanzo gave him hope.

He had always been plagued with Kanan's death after he had committed the terrible crime, but Sanzo's reciting had calmed him and made him remember the happy times Kanan and him shared as well. He couldn't believe he had almost forgotten about those wonderful memories. The sadness was still there, but now balanced with the happy memories, he felt a sense of peace and calmness he had never felt before.

Ironically, Hakkai is being saved once again by the same reciting as the reopened wound of his crime weighed heavily on his conscious once again. He had accepted his crime long ago, but seeing the countless tortured souls he had killed stuck in limbo hit him more than anything. He had failed Kanan and burned his humanity in the name of revenge, but he was sure **_this_** was **NOT** the revenge he had wanted even back then…just what _had_ he done!?

It was Sanzo who had fixed his mess and granted them peace. He must have caused the monk a hell lot of trouble back then, but like the other two, the monk had showed him kindness in his rough way, and never judged him merely by his deeds.

Hakkai let the words calm his regrets as he admired the splendid rays of sunrise that coated Sanzo into a living god. He could now understand, Sanzo's reciting was not just to sooth the pain, but also an encouragement of living and pushing forwards.

He felt the tugging and knew he was running out of time, his wish of hearing Sanzo recite once again was granted, and he is now returning to his own time. He now remembered what happened before he was sent here. It wasn't different from their usual, except it had been rainy night and was the anniversary of Kanan's death. He had been rather moody when the centipede youkai attacked, too distracted and wasn't fast enough to react when the youaki had activated the time spell and was suck in at the last moment and woke up in the woods later on.

It was an accident that got him here, but it was his own stubbornness and wish that had kept him here until now.

His body and conscious was fading into the rays of sun, but before that….

 ** _"_** ** _Thank you…."_** Hakkai took a last long look at the monk who had granted him peace once again and uttered the words he wasn't able to say at that time before disappearing from this timeline.

Unbeknown to him, as his conscious fade away, Sanzo had opened his eyes and looked at him, purple eyes unreadable.

* * *

He let out a groan as his whole body felt stiff, green eyes open to an unfamiliar ceiling. Before he could figure out what happened, he heard a loud kyuu and wings beating. His tiny dragon let out happy chirps as it flew around before landed beside him and gave a nibble in affection.

"Hakuryuu!" He smiled as he stroke its tiny head, the dragon purr in delight.

"Hakkai! Thank God you're finally awake!" Goku's happy loud voice arrived the same time the boy came crashing on to the bed, causing the white dragon to fly up and give a small screech of anger. "I thought you'd never wake up again!"

"Easy there, monkey. You're gonna smash the living daylight out of him." came the lazy voice as Gojyo entered the room.

"I'm fine, Gonku, just a bit tired." Hakkai smiled at the young man, a single look at Goku's short hair told him he was back in his right time. He had to admit Goku had grown quite a bit in these five years, even his roommate who just came through the door had matured since then.

"Yo, Hakkai, you're finally awake. Gosh you really scared us shitless, disappearing for a week and came back in a coma.' been waiting for you a long time and the stinking monk is about to throw a hissy fit." Red eyes that scan him over was filled with relief as he grinned.

"Shut up and die, kappa." Came the friendly reply of the Sanzo priest sitting beside the table and reading newspaper.

"So I'm back…" Hakkai muttered as he sat up and looked around. "What happen after the centipede youkai attack?"

"Not much, actually. You disappeared with him for about a week, then you reappeared three days ago in comatose, so no one knows what really happened. " Gojyo shrugged. "We had to relocate a few times so the youkais wouldn't attack the town, but the little rat refuses to leave your side, and Sanzo-sama insisted that we stick around here and wait."

Hakkai smiled as he continued to pet his little dragon "The youkai teleported us to another place and it took me some time to figure out how to get back. The youkai had been dealt with now, so there's no need to worry."

"Good. We wasted enough time here already, we're leaving first thing tomorrow morning." Sanzo gave an impatient huff.

"Then we need to replenish all our supplies before we leave." Throwing back the bed covers, Hakkai was about to get off bed before Gojyo pushed him back on bed.

"No need to rush, you still look a bit pale. Just give us a list of things we need, and the chibi monkey and I'll go and get them." Gojyo gave him a wink, "Since we're finally back together again, we're going to have some nice booze and wenches tonight to celebrate… "

"Keep your dick in your pants for once, you fucking kappa." Sanzo snarled as cold violet eyes glared at the red head.

"Aww, Sanzo sama, don't be such a tight ass, if you're shy I can show you how to…" Gojyo's words came to an abrupt stop when a bullet whizzed past his face and hit the wall behind him.

"Gojyo," Hakkai gave him a sweet smile at he handed him the list he made, the red head shivered at the fake smile that promised sun shines and butterflies but had a bottomless twisting black hole at the background. "as Goku's teacher, I would highly recommend you to reconsider your behaviors."

"…co…come on Gojyo, let's get something to eat first, I'm starving…" Obviously unnerved by Hakkai's icy smile as well, Goku hurriedly snatched the list and ran out of the room, "…right..we'll be right back" it took Gojyo less than a second to decide to flee the room as well, leaving a smiling Hakkai and irritated Sanzo behind.

"…Bloody idiots…" Sanoz groused out as he gave his cig a long puff. Hakkai chuckled, his smile turning more natural "It's just typical for them."

A long silence followed as Hakkai decide to pour himself some tea and continue to pet Hakuryuu and Sanoz still reading newspapers. Finally Sanzo decided to break the silence.

"You went back in time with that youkai, didn't you?"

Hakkai's eyes widen in shock "How…how did you…"

"There was one thing that didn't make sense to me when I was still in Keiun Temple." Sanzo continued like he didn't hear Hakkai "The official record showed that I dealt with a large group of mercenaries hired by a youkai, the only problem is that I don't recall ever doing it. But during the few days you disappeared, different memories about the time I was sent out to arrest you appeared. Two youkais I don't remember seeing appeared. One of them is obviously the centipede youkai. Though I cannot recall the face and name of the other youkai, I still remember his fighting styles and youkai abilities." Purple eyes glanced at him, and Hakkai couldn't help but chuckled a little "ahahaha…you're right."

Hakkai looked at the blonde who had turned his attention back to the newspaper, deciding that he really needed to convey his thoughts "Sanzo, I …"

"Can it Hakkai, I don't want to hear about it." Sanzo interrupted. "Just focus on getting some rest, we're leaving early tomorrow morning, and I don't want to see you falling asleep when driving."

Hakkai stared at the priest for a few seconds before a small smile tug at his lips as he settled back to petting his dragon. So typical of their leader, so stubborn and not wanting to hear any gratitude or apologies.

He had always thought he was unlucky many times in life, while others had everything and he had nothing. His soul would never be complete with Kanan gone from his life, but now he had his best friends who would be there to pick up his pieces if he falls as they all push on forwards to continue to live. He would have long been dead or broken without them, and he thanked the Gods for letting him meet these wonderful people who understood and accepted all of him.

Unbeknown to Hakkai, Sanzo was deep in his thoughts as well. What he told Hakkai was only half true. While it was true that the man's face and name was fuzzy in most memories, there is one memory that was burned into his mind. When he opened his eyes after reciting the sutra at Hyakugan Maou's castle, he saw a fading ghost standing right next to Gonou, a man who looked just like Gonou but appeared a bit older. Even though he had just seen him a few seconds before the man seem to evaporate in the morning sun, it piques his interest.

At that moment, Cho Gonou seemed to have been crushed by his crime and emotions, but there is a chance for him to become the man he just saw, a man who is able to make a difference if given the chance. He wasn't sure if this was one of the reasons he has spoken in favor of him in front of the Sanbutsushin, but after secretly studying the green-eyed man beside him, Sanzo had to admit he wasn't disappointed with his decision of giving Gonou/Hakkai a second chance.

Tomorrow they would continue to march forwards, and the blonde was secretly glad to have the green eyed man back with him once again.

 **-omake—**

Hakkai looked up when he heard Sanzo made a sound of mild surprise, and saw him staring at a familiar gold card.

"I wonder how long it's going to take for the two of them to find out they don't have the gold card." Hakkai stated rather cheerfully, and Sanzo couldn't help but sigh in irritation.

 **-the end-**

*mirror treasure of Hyakugan Maou refers to Saiyuki novel "Kyouka Suigetsu".

Sorry for the long wait, the final chap took me quite some time to decide how to end, I'm glad I had finally came up with the idea.

BE THERE had always been my favorite chapter in Saiyuki. I love the dynamic in the chapter between them. Sanzo really had it easy it the chapter because Gonou didn't want to fight him at all. The idea of "What if Sanzo met an insane Gonou who was still on his murdering spree?" gave me the main idea of this novel.

Hakkai had always been my favorite in Saiyuki, I love both his sweet gentle side and the dark murderous side, the combination of both is just fascinating and Hakkai wouldn't be Hakkai if any side of him was lacking. The relationship between Hakkai and Sanoz is rather complicated, they care for each other in their own more subtle ways. Hakkai supports Sanzo by taking care of their daily life, and Sanzo will pull Hakkai out of his misery and continue to be a beacon for him.

Will probably post more chapters telling the story from Sanzo's side or simply other side stories about the fic, so I wouldn't really consider this fic really 'complete' yet.

Please Read and Review and tell me your thoughts. Thanks for reading!


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